Skating across the ice, hockey players dazzle us with their speed and skill, but what about the moments that make us chuckle from the stands or the living room?
Yes, hockey jokes come into play, serving as the lighter side of this fast-paced game.
Who doesn’t love a good laugh that breaks the tension of a nail-biting match or the silence of an off-season?
From puns that slide smoothly across your mind like a well-executed puck on ice to quips that catch you off guard like an unexpected check, hockey humor has a unique charm.
It connects fans and players beyond the rink, creating a community where laughter and love for the game coexist.
Hockey Jokes
Why do hockey players work at bakeries? They’re great at icing!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite game? “Frozen” tag.
Why was the computer good at hockey? It had a hard drive!
How do you know if a ghost is in your hockey team? It always plays center spirit.
What did the hockey net say? “Catch ya later!”
Why are hockey rinks round? So the ice doesn’t get cornered.
How do hockey players stay cool? They sit next to the fans.
What’s a dentist’s favorite hockey team? The Toothless Wonders!
Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? He wanted to tie the score.
What do you call an old snowman? A water break!
How do you make a hockey stick laugh? Tell it a puck-er up joke.
Why don’t hockey players drink tea? They prefer penalty shots.
What’s a hockey player’s least favorite movie? “The Hot Zone.”
How do penguins know how to play hockey? They’re born with ice in their veins.
Why did the hockey player break up with the puck? It was moving too fast.
How do you stop a hockey player from charging? Take away his credit card!
What do you get when you cross a hockey player and a magician? A hat trick!
Why are hockey games at night? Because the players keep getting penalized for icing.
What’s a goalie’s favorite snack? Puck-corn!
How do hockey players like their eggs? Hard-checked.
Why don’t hockey players get hot? They always stay near the boards.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite kind of music? Puck and roll.
How do you find a good hockey player? Look in the goals section.
Why was the hockey book always cold? It was full of ice.
How does a hockey player hold his baby? Like a Stanley Cup.
Why did the hockey team go to space? To shoot for the stars.
What do hockey players and magicians have in common? Both do hat tricks.
Why don’t sharks play hockey? They’d keep eating the sticks.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite restaurant? Stick & Puck.
How do you know a goalie is mad? He loses his puck.
What do you call a hockey player that makes clothes? A tailor on ice.
Why did the player sit in the penalty box? He needed a break from the ice.
How do hockey players keep their houses cool? With window fans.
Why did the hockey player go to art school? To improve his goal-drawing skills.
How do you throw a space-themed hockey party? You planet on ice.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite breakfast? Eggs and hat tricks.
How do you know if a hockey game is haunted? The puck goes through the net.
What do you call a funny hockey team? The Giggling Guards.
Why do hockey players make good friends? They know how to stick together.
How did the hockey puck propose? “Will you glide through life with me?”
Funny Hockey Jokes
Why do hockey players love donuts? For the sweet puck!
How do hockey refs decorate their homes? With penalty flags.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite dance move? The ice slide.
Why was the hockey team always cool? They lived near the boards.
What do you call a frozen hockey player? An ice-cube in pads.
How do goalies stay in touch? They catch up with each other.
Why don’t hockey players get lost? They always hit the boards.
What’s a hockey player’s least favorite chore? De-icing the freezer.
Why did the hockey player sit on the puck? He wanted a cool seat.
How do you make a hockey stick smile? Give it a puck.
Why was the hockey coach angry? His players were icing the game.
What’s a hockey goalie’s favorite game? Save!
How do you compliment a hockey player? “Nice ice!”
Why are hockey games so intense? Because every player has a goal.
How do you know a hockey player is surprised? He drops his gloves.
What do you call a polite hockey game? A “puck, please” match.
Why do hockey players make terrible judges? They always ice the case.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite kitchen appliance? The microwave, for quick defrosting.
How do you stop a hockey player from spinning? Nail his other skate to the ice.
What’s a hockey team’s favorite type of music? Ice-T.
Why did the hockey player bring a map to the rink? To find the face-off spot.
How do you keep a hockey player in suspense? I’ll tell you at the next game.
What’s a hockey stick’s worst nightmare? A saw.
Why do hockey players always carry a spare stick? In case they get a “break.”
What do you call an adventurous hockey player? An ice-plorer.
How do hockey players stay so cool under pressure? They chill out in the penalty box.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite snack? Ice chips.
Why don’t hockey players use paper? Because they always want more checks.
What do you call a hockey player with a bad temper? A hot ice-er.
How do you know if a hockey player is a good singer? They have a great puck pitch.
Hockey Jokes For Kids
Why did the hockey puck go to school? To get smarter at scoring.
How do hockey players stay cool? By hanging around the penalty box.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite subject? “Ice”-story.
Why was the computer bad at hockey? It kept freezing!
What do you call a dinosaur that plays hockey? A Puckasaurus Rex.
How do you know if a ghost is at your hockey game? You get a chilling check.
Why don’t hockey players drink tea? They prefer penalty shots.
What did one hockey stick say to the other? “Puck you up at seven?”
How does a hockey player make his lemonade? With ice and checks.
Why did the hockey game stop? There was a face-off in the corner.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite snack? Ice chips and dip.
How can you become a great hockey player? Practice until you’re ice cold.
Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the hockey team? He was great at scaring the goalie!
What do you call an old hockey player? A rink-ly veteran.
Why don’t hockey players get hot? Because of all the ice fans.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Puck ‘n’ roll.
Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? He wanted to tie the score.
How do hockey players communicate? They use iceticons.
What’s a cat’s favorite hockey team? The Panthers, because of their pawsome goalie!
Why are hockey rinks great for magic shows? Because of all the hat tricks.
How do you stop a hockey player from laughing? Give him a penalty.
Why do hockey players work at bakeries? They’re great at icing.
What do you call a hockey team that cries after losing? Cryce hockey.
How do you know a goalie is mad? When he loses his cool on the ice.
What do hockey players wear before a big game? Their game faces and ice skates.
Why did the hockey player get sent to his room? He kept puck-ing around.
What’s a hockey player’s least favorite movie? “Melted Ice Age.”
How do hockey players like their hotdogs? On ice buns.
Why did the hockey puck go to the party? It wanted to get slapped around!
What do you call a sleeping hockey player? A snooze alarmer
Hockey Dad Jokes
Why do hockey dads always carry a spare stick? In case they crack up.
How do hockey dads make tea? By heating it on the goalie.
What’s a hockey dad’s favorite movie? “Frozen,” but only for the ice scenes.
Why was the hockey dad bad at geometry? He only knows about ice blocks.
How does a hockey dad write a letter? With a puck and ink!
Why do hockey dads love winter? It’s the best season to break the ice.
What do hockey dads say about bad players? They really need to puck up their game.
Why are hockey dads never cold at games? They’re wrapped up in the action.
How do hockey dads do their shopping? They check everything twice.
What’s a hockey dad’s favorite type of music? Anything with ice beats.
Why do hockey dads tell the best jokes? They have a slapshot sense of humor.
How do hockey dads talk to each other? With a lot of puck-er face expressions.
Why did the hockey dad bring a net to dinner? In case of flying pucks.
What’s a hockey dad’s favorite kitchen appliance? The defrost setting on the freezer.
How do hockey dads like their coffee? Iced, of course.
Why don’t hockey dads get lost on the road? They always follow the ice map.
What’s a hockey dad’s least favorite chore? Melting the ice in the driveway.
How do hockey dads stay in shape? By doing puck-ups.
Why are hockey dads great at parties? They always break the ice.
What did the hockey dad say about his favorite team? “They really know how to stick together.”
Why did the hockey dad go to art class? To perfect his ice-sketching.
What’s a hockey dad’s favorite food? Puck-aroni and cheese.
How do hockey dads decorate for birthdays? With ice-ting.
What makes hockey dads laugh? Ice puns, they crack them up.
Why do hockey dads carry a whistle? To keep the game jokes in order.
What did the hockey dad say to the lazy puck? “Get moving, or you’ll be benched!”
Why do hockey dads always volunteer to drive? They love ice road trucking.
How do hockey dads keep cool under pressure? They just chill out.
What’s a hockey dad’s favorite part of the newspaper? The ice-solated comics.
Why did the hockey dad sit on the puck? He wanted to chill out.
Hockey Goalie Jokes
Why did the goalie break up with the puck? It was too clingy.
How does a goalie say goodbye? “Catch you later!”
Why are goalies bad storytellers? They always let the point slip by.
What do you call a goalie without a mask? An open net.
Why did the goalie sit on the puck? He wanted a cool seat.
How do goalies stay in shape? By doing save stretches.
What’s a goalie’s favorite snack? Block cheese.
Why was the goalie always calm? He knew how to ice his nerves.
What did the goalie do on his day off? Nothing, he wanted to save his energy.
Why don’t goalies ever get lonely? They hang out with the posts.
How do goalies decorate their room? With shutout curtains.
Why did the goalie join the choir? He had great saves.
What’s a goalie’s least favorite movie? “Gone with the Wind,” too many drafts.
Why do goalies make great friends? They’re good at catching up.
How did the goalie get to the game? He blocked traffic.
What’s a goalie’s favorite game? Catch me if you can.
Why don’t goalies get cold? They have plenty of fans.
What makes a goalie scared? A puck with a vendetta.
Why are goalies great at parties? They save the best for last.
How do goalies keep their hands warm? Glove saves.
Why did the goalie always carry a map? To find his way out of the net.
What do you call a goalie with a sunburn? A red light.
Why did the goalie write a book? He had many saves to share.
How do goalies like their steaks? Blocked, not fried.
What’s a goalie’s favorite type of music? Block and roll.
Why did the goalie refuse to play cards? He was afraid of losing his net worth.
How do goalies stay cool? Ice in their veins.
What did the goalie say to the puck? “Not in my house!”
Why don’t goalies ever get bored? They always have a goal in mind.
How do goalies apologize? “Sorry, I didn’t catch that.
Field Hockey Jokes
Why do field hockey players never get lost? They always find the goal.
How do field hockey players stay cool? They stand next to the fans.
What’s a field hockey player’s favorite movie? Stick It.
Why was the field hockey team so good at math? They knew all about angles and goals.
How do you know if a field hockey player is happy? They let out a little “whoop” after scoring.
What do field hockey players eat before a game? Fast breaks.
Why do field hockey players make good detectives? They always find the back of the net.
What’s a field hockey goalie’s least favorite snack? Shooters.
Why did the field hockey player bring a map to the game? To find the best route to the goal.
How do field hockey players stay in touch? They pass messages.
Why was the field hockey game so noisy? Everyone was stick-ing around.
What do you call a field hockey player who breaks the rules? A foul player.
Why do field hockey players always carry a spare stick? In case they get into a sticky situation.
What’s a field hockey player’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop, for all the hopping around.
How do field hockey players greet each other? “Stick together, team!”
Why was the field hockey team so good at yoga? Because of their flexibility with the stick.
How do field hockey players like their steaks? With a side of goals.
What do you call a spooky field hockey game? A ghost goal.
Why do field hockey players make great friends? They always defend each other.
What’s a field hockey player’s least favorite weather? Hail, it messes with their aim.
Why don’t field hockey players get into fights? They prefer to stick it out.
What do field hockey players drink? Penalty shots.
How do you make a field hockey stick laugh? Tickle its grip.
Why are field hockey games so tense? Every player sticks to their role.
What’s a field hockey player’s favorite kitchen tool? The mixer, for all the stirring they do.
Why do field hockey players make good bakers? They’re great at stick handling.
How do field hockey players celebrate a win? By having a stick party.
What do you call an amazing field hockey play? Stick-tacular!
Why do field hockey players wear shoes? To get a better grip on their goals.
How do field hockey players write letters? With a pen-alty.
Hockey Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Puck. Puck who? Puck-er up, it’s game time!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Zamboni. Zamboni who? Zamboni the road again to another hockey match!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stanley. Stanley who? Stanley Cup, who else would I be?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice to meet you, ready for the game?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goalie. Goalie who? Goalie locks the net down tight!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stick. Stick who? Stick around, the game’s about to start!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Penalty. Penalty who? Penalty for not laughing at my joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ref. Ref who? Ref-er-ee you gonna let me in?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hat trick. Hat trick who? Hat trick or treat, hockey style!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Overtime. Overtime who? Overtime work, time for hockey!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Net. Net who? Net time you’ll score, I promise!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Face-off. Face-off who? Face-off to the game we go!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Defense. Defense who? Defense is better with you in it!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Score. Score who? Score a goal for me, will ya?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jersey. Jersey who? Jersey sure you’re ready for the match?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Slapshot. Slapshot who? Slapshot’s the way we win!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wing. Wing who? Wing it and score!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Checker. Checker who? Checker equipment, game’s on!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Helmet. Helmet who? Helmet on, safety first!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Breakaway. Breakaway who? Breakaway to victory!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice time. Ice time who? Ice time you showed up!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Skater. Skater who? Skater to the wind, we’re late!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Power play. Power play who? Power play our way to the top!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shootout. Shootout who? Shootout stars, that’s us!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hockey bag. Hockey bag who? Hockey bag packed, let’s go!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shin pads. Shin pads who? Shin pads, knees ready, let’s play!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rink. Rink who? Rink me up, it’s cold out here!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chirp. Chirp who? Chirp the other team good-naturedly!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Crosscheck. Crosscheck who? Crosscheck the list, did we win?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goal. Goal who? Goal celebrate, we won!
I’m Delaney Jameson, the soul behind inspiremymantra.com! As a healing expert, writer, and self-growth enthusiast, I’ve made it my mission to share my passion for affirmations and personal transformation with the world.
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