Text jokes

Text Jokes – Laugh Away Your Stress Today

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Navigating the delightful maze of text jokes, we uncover the secret sauce: unpredictability wrapped in familiarity.

These digital quips transform our screens into arenas of shared laughter, bonding us through the unexpected joy found in clever wordplay and surprising punchlines.

It’s this blend of simplicity and wit that carves memorable moments from ordinary conversations.

In our journey through text joke mastery, we’re not just seeking chuckles; we’re fostering connections, one message at a time.

Ready to delve into the artistry behind crafting the perfect text joke that resonates and delights?

Funny Text Jokes

Funny Text Jokes

Skeletons don’t spar; missing guts, you see.

Penguins’ homes? Glued together igloos.

Spaghetti imposters? We call them impastas.

Solo-standing bikes? They’re just too tired.

Chatty oceans? Nah, they just wave.

Playground naps lead to ‘kidnappings.’

Actors’ leg-breaking wish? It’s all about the cast.

Trust issues with atoms—they fabricate everything.

Unauthorized cheese? Clearly, it’s nacho cheese.

Golfers’ spare pants? For the unexpected hole-in-one.

A rubber-toed Roberto? Only in joke land.

Award-winning scarecrows? They stand out in fields.

Watch belts? A total waist of time.

Joke-telling eggs crack themselves up.

Corn’s dilemma: all ears, no hearing.

Space party organization? Just planet.

Melancholy math books drowned in problems.

A detective alligator? An investigator, naturally.

Bay-fearing seagulls? They’d rather not be bagels.

Squirrel catching? Act nutty up a tree.

Sleeping bulls become bulldozers overnight.

Blushing tomatoes? The salad dressing effect.

Towels: the paradox of drying.

Vocabulary-rich dinosaurs? Thesauruses, of course.

Tired bicycles? They’re prone to falling.

Stepped-on grapes don’t talk; they wine.

Non-returning boomerangs? Just sticks pretending.

Sunscreen for bananas? To avoid peeling.

Orange parrot imitations? Look no further than carrots.

Grape respiratory advice? Just breathe!

Mugged coffee reports to the police.

Abdominal snowmen flaunt six-packs.

Framed pictures? Guilty of being captivating.

Vampire-snowman crossbreeds? Hello, frostbite.

Cucumbers’ pickle transformation? A jarring journey.

Belt arrests for pant support.

Deceitful noodles? Impastas strike again.

Doctor-visiting computers? Must be a virus.

Magic-performing dogs? Labracadabradors, obviously.

Bees’ sticky hair secret? Honeycombs, naturally.

Best Text Jokes To Send To Your Crush

Best Text Jokes To Send To Your Crush

“Are you a magician? Every time I look at my phone, you make everyone else disappear.”
“Guess what’s on the menu? Me ‘n’ u.”
“If we were at a store, we’d be a boGO. You know, Buy one, Get One… irresistible.”
“I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.”
“Is this the Hogwarts Express? Because it feels like you and I are headed somewhere magical.”
“I’d never play hide and seek with you. Someone like you is impossible to find.”
“If kisses were leaves, I’d give you a tree.”
“We’re not socks, but I think we’d make a great pair.”
“You must be made of copper and tellurium because you’re Cu-Te.”
“Our love story could be a best seller. Title? ‘Gone With the Wind’ because you swept me off my feet!”
“Do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.”
“If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.”
“Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda one for me!”
Certainly, these might seem a bit unconventional. Yet, give me a chance to explain. Have you ever encountered a scenario so peculiar, laughter becomes inevitable? “I had planned to get you flowers, but then I realized they might envy your beauty.”
“Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more.”
Admittedly, these may come off as unconventional. Still, lend me your ears. Have you ever encountered a scenario so odd, you couldn’t resist a giggle? “If we were to be classified as a fruit, we’d undoubtedly be a fineapple.” “You have to be a keyboard, given you’re precisely my type.”
“Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future!”
“I’d tell you a joke about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.”
“You must be Wi-Fi because I’m feeling a connection.”
“Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
Alright, they might come across as a little quirky. However, bear with me. Have you ever come across something so strange, you couldn’t help but laugh? “I may not be a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.” “You’re similar to a dictionary; you bring significance to my existence.” “Were beauty to be measured in time, you’d represent infinity.” “Playing hide and seek with you would be futile, as finding someone like you is beyond possihout you.”
“Are you a loan? Because you’ve got my interest!”
“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber.”
“Do you believe in love at first text, or should I send another?”bility.” “Does it feel warm here, or is it merely the warmth of our emerging romance?””
“You’re like a phone charger. I’m dead wit

Text Jokes For Him

Ever thought about hide and seek? With you, it’s a no-brainer; you shine too brightly to ever be hidden.

You remind me of my car keys; always elusive when I’m looking but oh so crucial for my journey.

If being irresistible was a felony, you’d be serving time indefinitely.

I might need a compass around you because I get utterly lost in the depth of your gaze.

Do you double as a charger? Because my heart’s battery seems low when you’re not around.

In a garden of vegetables, you’d definitely be the standout – a handsome cucumber.

Like a well-loved book from the library, I find myself constantly checking you out.

Could it be you’re a detective? Because you’ve unraveled the pathway straight to my affection.

I’d invoke a divine blessing upon you, but it appears the heavens have already done their part.

Perhaps you’re a broom, for you’ve effortlessly swept me off my feet with a mere glance.

Are you of extraterrestrial origin? Because my heart feels like it’s been gently abducted.

Among fruits, you’d be an orange, not just any but the sweetest in the orchard.

Our conversations remind me of a never-ending phone call, where hanging up is the last thing on my mind.

Much like WiFi, with you, I feel a strong, unspoken connection.

If you were a feline, I’d gladly spend not one but nine lives by your side.

Are you a camera in disguise? Because your presence brings a smile that’s just picture-perfect.

You are to me what peanut butter is to jelly; absolutely essential and perfectly complementary.

Should kisses transform into snowflakes, prepare yourself for a blizzard of affection.

Like a well-negotiated bank loan, you’ve garnered my interest and held onto it tightly.

No need for detective games; you’ve already unraveled the enigma of my heart.

Standing next to you feels akin to awaiting a flight, with my heart set to take off.

If your life was a film, it’d surely be a box office sensation.

Your presence is like a sunburn; intensely hot and utterly unforgettable.

Were you a season, undoubtedly you’d be summer, warmly embraced by all.

I’m no baker, yet the thought of kneading dough all day pales in comparison to being with you.

A magician’s trick perhaps? For when I see you, the world around us fades away.

Holding you close feels like winning a trophy, a prize I’ve done nothing to deserve yet cherish immensely.

Just as lime complements tequila, you add that essential zest to my life.

On life’s metaphorical football field, I’d pass you my heart without a second thought.

Could you be a candle? Because your presence illuminates even the darkest of rooms.

Text Jokes To Send To Friends

“Why did the phone go to therapy? It lost its contacts.”
“Ever notice how laziness is just restlessness spelled differently? Asking for a friend.”
“If we were a fruit, we’d be a pear – perfectly mismatched.”
“You’re like my toe – small, but I always find you when I’m furniture shopping in the dark.”
“What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!”
“Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.”
“Our friendship is like a good coffee – strong, warm, and keeps me up at night thinking about it.”
“If laughter was a crime, we’d be in jail for life.”
“You’re the ‘ctrl’ to my ‘z’ – always fixing my mistakes.”
“Why was the math book sad? Too many problems.”
“Our group chat is like a historical document – important but full of nonsense.”
“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
“You’re the WiFi to my life – essential and sometimes unstable.”
“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!”
“Why can’t bicycles stand up by themselves? They’re two-tired.”
“Our friendship is like glue, except it doesn’t feel stuck.”
“Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
“You’re like a software update – always popping up when I least expect it.”
“What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.”
“Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.”
“You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, my day gets brighter.”
Granted, these might strike you as a tad unconventional. Yet, give them a chance. Have you ever encountered something so peculiar, you can’t help but let out a laugh? “Were you to be a vegetable, you’d definitely be a cute-cumber.” “What’s orange and mimics a parrot? A carrot!”
“Friendship with you is like a puzzle; hard to piece together but beautiful when done.”
“Why do bees hum? Because they don’t know the words.”
“Our bond is like a bad joke – no one gets it but us.”
“You’re like an alarm clock. You make a lot of noise, but you wake me up to reality.”
“If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple. And I’d be the lucky one to pick you.”
“Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.”
“Being friends with you is like being on a boat. Sometimes it’s smooth sailing, other times I feel seasick.”

Text Jokes To Make Her Laugh

Ever wonder why you never spill secrets on a farm? Here’s a hint: those potatoes and corn are not just sitting there; they’re watching and listening!

Ponder this: can February March? No, but don’t get too down, because April May just decide to!

Ever meet an alligator dressed to the nines? Well, you’ve got yourself an in-vest-igator. Wonder what mystery they’re solving today.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? It’s Olive. Olive who, you ask? Olive you so much, and can’t wait to see you again!

Math books, ever noticed how they look a bit down? It’s because they’re burdened with way too many problems.

When oceans meet, do they chat? Nah, they’re more the silent type, just sending waves to each other.

Here’s something I realized today: my eyes were open, so I saw everything. Mind-blowing, right?

Skeletons avoiding a tussle is pretty smart when you think about it. After all, they’re lacking in the guts department.

A parrot that’s orange and doesn’t squawk? You’ve got yourself a carrot there, my friend.

Planning a party in outer space requires one crucial step: you gotta planet just right.

What’s a computer’s go-to snack? Can’t resist those microchips, crunchy and techy!

Heard about the park’s latest drama with a kidnapping? Turns out, it was just a nap that went on a bit too long.

That moment when a tomato blushes upon catching the salad dressing in a rather compromising state.

If you ever encounter spaghetti that seems a bit off, call it out as an impasta. It’s not to be trusted.

Observing a bike struggle to stand on its own really puts into perspective the issues of being two-tired.

Attempting to eat a clock is a real challenge. It’s incredibly time-consuming and not recommended for a quick snack.

When cheese decides it doesn’t belong to you, it’s proudly declaring itself as nacho cheese. Hands off!

A computer feeling chilly is a rare sight, but it makes sense when it forgets to close its Windows.

When life gives you lemons, and they pick up the phone, expect a cheerful “Yellow!” on the other end.

Eggs have a strict no-joke policy amongst themselves. The risk of cracking up is just too high.

Watching a penguin build its house is quite the sight, especially when it igloos everything together with such precision.

Skeletons and their aversion to living rooms make a lot of sense when you think about it. Not their vibe.

The inventor of Lifesavers must’ve been minting it back in the day. Quite literally, in fact.

A golfer wearing two pairs of pants seems excessive until you consider the potential hazards of the game, like a hole in one.

Snowmen with six-packs, or should we say, abdominal snowmen, are revolutionizing the snowman fitness industry.

Squirrel catching 101: Climbing a tree and acting like a nut seems to be the most effective strategy.

Gardens, much like farms, are no place for secrets. With all the vegetable eavesdroppers, good luck keeping anything under wraps.

A dinosaur that’s well-spoken? Must be a thesaurus. Imagine the conversations you could have.

The gym isn’t for everyone, especially for certain couples. It appears some relationships simply don’t work out.

Fish encounters with walls are always dramatic. “Dam!” is the usual exclamation, followed by a swift about-face.

Knock knock Text Jokes

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s too cold out here!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owl. Owl who? Owl you need is love!
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No silly, cow says moooo!
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke!
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and answer the door!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iran. Iran who? Iran over here to tell you this!
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? No, YOU’RE a poo!
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? To. To who? To whom!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it’s pointless.
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, cows go moo!
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ya. Ya who? No thanks, I prefer Google.
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. Leaf who? Leaf me alone!
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Police. Police who? Police stop telling these awful jokes!
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Icing. Icing who? Icing so loud the neighbors can hear!
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Woo. Woo who? Don’t get too excited, it’s just a joke.
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Etch. Etch who? Bless you, friend!
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita borrow a pencil, got one?
  21. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut forget to let me in!
  22. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan to do something fun, let’s go!
  23. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the peephole and find out.
  24. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Amos. Amos who? A mosquito bit me!
  25. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!
  26. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for dinner!
  27. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard I know you’re not a chicken?
  28. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?
  29. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I prefer peanuts.
  30. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ken. Ken who? Ken I come in? It’s cold out here!

Predictive Text Jokes

Autocorrect says I write too much about ducks. Unbelievable. Guess I’m quackers.

Predictive text knows me so well, it finishes my sandwiches.

Why did the smartphone go to therapy? It couldn’t resolve its predictive text issues.

Siri and Alexa decided to swap jobs. Now my music playlist keeps ordering pizza.

My phone autocorrected “I’m home” to “I’m gnome.” Now my family expects a garden decoration.

When I asked my phone for the weather, it texted me a recipe for soup. Comforting, but confusing.

Autocorrect changed “meeting” to “mating.” My work email got a lot more interesting.

Why did the phone break up with its charger? It needed more space.

My GPS is so bad, it gave directions to Narnia once. Still searching for the wardrobe.

Tried to text “I’m feeling lucky.” Phone corrected to “I’m feeling duck.” Quack up, everyone.

Emoji predictions are wild. Sent a heart, phone added a potato. Guess love is spud-tacular.

Texted “Goodnight, sweet dreams.” Phone sent “Goodnight, sweet beans.” Didn’t know I was so into legumes.

Asked Siri for a joke. It called me. Guess I’m the joke.

My autocorrect turned “LOL” into “SOS.” My laughter is apparently an emergency.

Why don’t phones ever go to sleep? They think they’re too smart.

Tried to send “YOLO” but it autocorrected to “TOFU.” Guess I’m living the vegan life now.

My phone’s idea of a joke? Autocorrecting “I love you” to “I glove you.” Handy, I guess.

Texting “birthday wishes” turned into “birthday fishes.” Sea what happened there?

Predictive text made me send “duck” instead of “luck.” Hope you have a quacking good day!

Tried to complain about autocorrect. Phone corrected it to a compliment. Well played, phone.

My phone added “haha” to a serious text. It’s the jester of the electronic world.

Why did the text message go to school? To learn proper spelling from autocorrect.

My calendar app thinks it’s a comedian. Reminded me to “Buy more thyme.” Herb your enthusiasm.

Wanted to type “cool,” but my phone suggested “coal.” Guess I’m not as cool as I thought.

Autocorrect turned “exercise” into “exorcise.” That escalated quickly.

Told my phone I was hungry. It texted “Here’s a byte.” Digital snacks, anyone?

My weather app joked about “raining cats and dogs.” Found a poodle in my data.

Tried to type “music” but got “mucus” instead. Not the kind of jam I was looking for.

My phone’s favorite exercise? Running out of battery.

Predictive text suggested “zombies” after “I feel like…” Guess I’m not looking too lively.

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