Wedding jokes tap into the universal experiences of love, marriage, and the peculiarities of sharing life with another person. Best wedding jokes
Who doesn’t appreciate a good laugh about the trials and quirks of matrimonial bliss? From the engagement ring to the wedding band, and eventually, the inevitable “suffering,” humor offers a unique lens to view the complexities of married life.
But why do we find these jests so captivating? Perhaps it’s because they reflect the lighter side of the commitments we make, turning potential stressors into moments of shared joy and understanding.
Best Wedding Jokes
Marrying a GPS was my best decision; now, my mistakes are always recalculated.
My wife’s cooking is incredible. Last week, our smoke alarm cheered for her.
A marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit for love’s lifetime project.
Why do married people live longer? Rehearsals for the silent treatment take years.
Love is blind, and marriage is the eye-opener. Now, where did I put my glasses?
Matrimony is finding that special someone to annoy for a lifetime.
My husband and I share a deep, spiritual connection. It’s called WiFi.
During our vows, my wife promised to love me in sickness and in health, as long as we don’t share the remote.
Marriage teaches you loyalty, patience, understanding, and how to duck at the right time.
What’s the best way to remember your anniversary? Forget it once!
Love means never having to say anything because you’ve already argued about it on WhatsApp.
Marriage is when ‘Netflix and chill’ actually means Netflix and chill.
They say opposites attract. I’m night, she’s day. I’m right, she says.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.
Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then see what the other person has and wish you ordered that.
Marriage: where “I do” becomes “You better!”
Our love story started with a simple friend request. Now, I’m requesting a bit more privacy.
A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality before the boxing match begins.
Marriage is a workshop. I work; she shops.
Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.
My wife and I always compromise; I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
They say in a marriage, one person is always right and the other person is the husband.
I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.
What’s the key to a happy marriage? A good lock on the bathroom door.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don’t work half the time.
My wife told me I should be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
Love is blind; marriage is the eye-opener. Suddenly, you find the light…and a lot of laundry.
Our marriage is built on trust and understanding. She doesn’t trust me, and I don’t understand her.
Marriage is when you find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Why is marriage like a deck of cards? You start with two hearts and a diamond, and end up wishing you had a club and a spade.
My partner and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
You know you’re married when “Netflix and Chill” turns into “Actually Netflix and actually chill.”
Before marriage, a man declares he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
They say marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband.
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don’t try to run her life, and I don’t try to run mine.
Why did the two cell phones get married? Because they had a connection.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we charged each other’s phone.
In my house, I’m the boss. My wife is just the decision maker.
Wedding Toast Jokes
“Let’s toast to the groom, a man who keeps his head even when he loses his heart.”
“Here’s to the bride – may she share everything with her husband, including the housework.”
“Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park. To the brave couple!”
“May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old-fashioned enough to last forever.”
“Here’s to love, laughter, and the happily ever after. May ‘I need space’ never be more than a request for a closet remodel.”
“To the newlyweds: May your arguments be short, and your speaking terms be long.”
“Let’s toast the bride and groom – may your love have the perfect recipe: a spoonful of smiles, a jar of joy, and none for the exes.”
“May your life together be full of love, and your love be full of life. And may your Netflix suggestions always align.”
“Here’s to the groom, a man who keeps his promise to give up his bachelor ways. Starting tomorrow.”
“To the bride, who has found her prince. Let’s hope he doesn’t turn into a frog after a few beers.”
“Let’s toast to the magical moments – may your life together have more sparkle than your wedding Pinterest board.”
“Here’s to a marriage more beautiful than the wedding. But let’s face it, the cake sets a high bar.”
“To the couple who has shown us that love stories can go from swiping right to walking down the aisle.”
“Here’s to not just marrying the right person, but being the right partner. The first one is done; now the fun part begins.”
“Let’s raise a glass to the WiFi password for tonight’s venue – the true unsung hero of this beautiful evening.”
“May your marriage be filled with all the right ingredients: a heap of love, a dash of humor, a touch of romance, and a spoonful of understanding.”
“Here’s to the bride and groom – may your only ups and downs be in the bedroom.”
“To the newlyweds: May your marriage be a cloudless night sky filled with sparkling stars of joy, love, and care.”
“A toast to the bride’s impeccable taste and the groom’s luck. May both continue to improve with age.”
“May your love story be a grand epic that turns into a Netflix series. Preferably not a documentary.”
“Here’s to a future filled with late-night talks, Netflix binges, and, most importantly, mutual phone charger respect.”
“To the groom, who has officially upgraded from being annoyed by his partner’s snoring to calling it a sweet lullaby.”
“Let’s drink to the moments that brought us here and the mishaps we’ll laugh about later.”
“May your marriage be so stable that not even a Google update can bring it down.”
“Here’s to finding the one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Cheers to forever annoyances!”
“To the new Mr. and Mrs. – may your love be as unbreakable as your smartphone screen protector.”
“A toast to the couple that proves love is not just blind but also deaf at times. May you always turn a deaf ear to life’s little hiccups.”
“Let’s cheer for the newlyweds, who today, have found their partner in wine.”
“To the couple: May your life together be full of love, and may your love be full of life… and Wi-Fi.”
“Here’s to the newlyweds: May your love story be as passionate and enduring as your debates over where to eat.”
Wedding Jokes For Speech
Love is finding that special someone to help you locate your misplaced phone.
Weddings are where two hearts become one, and wedding cakes are where my diet becomes undone.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other decides where to eat.
They say opposites attract. She loves romantic movies, I love peace and quiet.
Love is accepting that your partner will control the TV remote forever.
A toast to the couple who makes me believe in my own love story – with pizza.
Marriage: where you promise to love, honor, and not argue over Netflix choices.
Here’s to the bride and groom, from the bachelor life to the broom.
Marriage is the magical transition from “my” snacks to “our” snacks.
In marriage, you don’t lose your freedom; you just learn to enjoy company in your personal space.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the TV series you started together.
Love is never having to say anything because you both fell asleep on the couch.
Here’s to the newlyweds, whose love is as strong as my WiFi signal.
Marriage advice: Keep the love, lose the last slice of pizza fight.
Cheers to the bride and groom, who show us that love is not having to hold your phone.
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it’s so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.
They say all you need is love. A mutual hatred for the alarm clock helps too.
Love is eternal, as long as it doesn’t interrupt the football game.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Here’s to love, laughter, and happily ever after. And to never having to say, “You’re right, dear.”
A toast to the newlyweds: May your love be as endless as your wedding playlist.
In marriage, there are three rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. Just kidding, let’s hope not!
Marriage: A bond so strong it requires a cake to celebrate.
Love is sweet when it’s new, but it’s sweeter when it’s true. And even sweeter when the other person does the dishes.
Here’s to finding the one who knows you’re crazy but decides to stay the ride.
To the newlyweds: May your life together be full of love and your love be full of life…and Netflix binges.
Weddings are like wine – they get better with age and start with a lot of bottles.
Love is like a good cake; you never know when it’s going to rise.
Here’s to the couple who knows that love isn’t about counting the years, but making the years count.
Let’s raise our glasses to the couple who reminds us that true love is finding your soulmate in your best friend.
Wedding Jokes For Groom
My future wife loves me so much she’s already agreed to let me say I’m right once a year.
They say marriage is about compromise; I agreed to get married, she agreed to marry me. Seems fair.
I’ve heard marriage is the best teacher; it teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, and a lot of other qualities you wouldn’t need if you stayed single.
Buying a wedding suit is like buying a coffin. Eventually, you’ll lie in it, and it costs a fortune.
I asked my fiancée if she’d seen my wedding shoes. She said they’d be at the altar. That’s commitment!
Learning to say “Yes, dear” is the first step to a happy marriage. I’ve been practicing in front of a mirror.
Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops. I’m already enrolled.
They say a man is incomplete until he’s married; then he’s finished.
My fiancée told me we’re a team now. So, I’m waiting for my jersey and wondering if there are timeouts.
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. Ten years later, you’ll want a club and a spade.
My fiancée asked what I was most excited about for our wedding. I said, “The cake tasting.” Priorities.
I’ve been told the secret to a happy marriage is still a secret. I guess we’ll find out together.
Wedding planning taught me patience, understanding, and how to hide my credit card.
They told me marriage is about sharing; now I understand it includes the remote.
I read that love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener. So, I’m keeping one eye open, just in case.
My last bachelor thought: “Walking down the aisle is the do or die of agreeing to share my fries.”
They say you don’t marry someone you can live with – you marry someone you can’t live without. Guess I can’t live without someone taking half my bed.
Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Can’t wait!
I was told marriage is all about balance. I stand on one leg now when I agree with her.
I’ve heard marriage changes life in many ways. Looking forward to finding socks in places I never knew existed.
They say in marriage, you’re either right or happy. I choose happy. Always.
Preparing for marriage is like preparing for a marathon; it’s all about endurance.
Marriage advice I received: Always carry two photo IDs. In case she doesn’t recognize you without your bachelor’s face.
Getting married means you always have a date to the coolest events, even if it’s just a trip to the grocery store.
Heard marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. I’m ready for battle, as long as it’s against unwashed dishes.
They say a happy wife equals a happy life. I’m taking notes.
Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
I asked for marriage advice. They said, “Learn to apologize…even when you’re right.”
Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other is the husband. Guess my new title!
Wedding Jokes For Best Man
Being the best man is like being the groom’s personal assistant. Today, I even learned how to tie a tie.
I’ve been informed that a best man speech shouldn’t be more than the groom can manage without fidgeting. So, goodbye!
They say you can choose your friends but not your family. Thankfully, the groom did an excellent job choosing me.
The groom and I share a bond so strong, he’s the reason I know so much about, well, weddings now.
As the best man, I thought about delivering a speech so moving, it would make the groom cry. Maybe next time.
My advice to the groom: Treat marriage like a car. Love needs both a good driver and an expert navigator.
The groom asked me for marriage advice. I said, “Give her coffee in bed, you’ll learn why.”
Here’s to the groom, a man who knows that ‘happy wife, happy life’ isn’t just a rhyme.
I’ve known the groom so long, I remember when his biggest commitment was not overfeeding his goldfish.
Before today, the groom thought a diamond was something you played baseball on.
They say a best man is like a psychiatrist. Today, I specialize in cold feet.
To the groom: Marriage is not about finding a person you can live with. It’s about finding the TV remote together.
Here’s to the man of the hour, who proves love isn’t just blind, but also incredibly brave.
I always knew the groom would wear a suit longer than 30 minutes for two reasons: court or wedding.
The secret to a happy marriage, according to the groom? Two words: “Yes, dear.”
Remember, in marriage, what’s hers is hers, and what’s yours… will eventually be hers too.
I told the groom, in marriage, you don’t lose your freedom. You just get a best friend to monitor it.
As the best man, I promised to have the groom’s back. Starting with this speech.
To the groom, who thought ‘Netflix and chill’ was going to be the peak of romance.
A toast to the groom, who’s about to learn that marriage is a word of many meanings, all of them lovely.
Marriage advice for the groom: The best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once.
Being the best man means I get to roast the groom. But don’t worry; I left the fire extinguisher at the table.
A wise man once said, “Marriage is an adventure.” So, here’s to the groom, our newest explorer.
To the groom: May your love be modern enough to survive the times and classic enough to last forever.
The groom once told me he’d never get married. Today, we celebrate his inability to predict the future.
Marriage is all about balance. The groom has found someone who’s his better half, but let’s face it, that wasn’t hard.
Here’s to the groom, who’s about to discover that marriage is the best teacher; you learn something new every day.
I always knew the groom would get married. He has too much laundry for a single man.
The groom has always been a good decision maker. After all, he chose me as his best man.
To the groom, who’s found someone to share his dreams with, starting with the dream of not having to eat his own cooking.
Wedding Jokes One Liners
Marriage is like a deck of cards: starts with hearts and diamonds, ends with a search for clubs and spades.
“Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year, the man speaks and the woman listens.
My wife says I never listen, or something like that.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Why do married people live longer? Because they can’t argue with their spouse if they’re dead.
Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other person is the husband.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Love is blind; marriage is the eye-opener.
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
Marriage: where “Yes dear” are the magic words.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my fort.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
They say love is blind. I guess that’s why marriage is an eye-opener.
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
Our wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.
Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops.
It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It just feels longer.
A man is incomplete until he’s married. After that, he’s finished.
Marriage is an institution of three rings: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
My wife and I had a lot in common. We both were married on the same day.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the wife listens. In the second year, the wife speaks and the husband listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Knock Knock Wedding Jokes
Knock, knock. Who’s there? I do. I do who? I do believe we just got married!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Aisle. Aisle who? Aisle be loving you forever.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Marry. Marry who? Marry me, and let’s live happily ever after!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Veil. Veil who? Veil you be mine?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owen. Owen who? Owen-ly you can make my heart skip a beat.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hugo. Hugo who? Hugo first, no you go first through the threshold!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? June. June who? June bride, ready to walk down the aisle.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Altar. Altar who? Altar your plans, we’re getting married!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bouquet. Bouquet who? Bouquet to throw, are you ready to catch?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ring. Ring who? Ring the bells, we’re married now!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wedding. Wedding who? Wedding you like to celebrate with us?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harmony. Harmony who? Harmony more days till we say “I do”?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda live happily ever after with you.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cake. Cake who? Cake your time, but don’t eat too much before dinner!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honey. Honey who? Honey-moon is booked, let’s go!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dearly. Dearly who? Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vow. Vow who? Vow to make you laugh every day.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tux. Tux who? Tux me a while to get ready, but here I am!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chapel. Chapel who? Chapel of love is where we’re headed!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Elope. Elope who? Elope if you want to avoid the wedding planning stress!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Suit. Suit who? Suit yourself, but I’m wearing white!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Engagement. Engagement who? Engagement ring on your finger says it all!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toast. Toast who? Toast to a lifetime of happiness and love.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? First. First who? First dance as a married couple, let’s not step on toes.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Best. Best who? Best day of our lives, don’t you agree?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dance. Dance who? Dance the night away, it’s our wedding!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Garter. Garter who? Garter catch it if you can!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vows. Vows who? Vows are done, let’s party now!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rice. Rice who? Rice and shine, it’s wedding time!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Happily. Happily who? Happily ever after starts now!
Wedding Dad Jokes
I told my daughter she should have her wedding in a castle. Because she’s the queen of making rash decisions.
Why do we tie cans to the back of the wedding car? Because it’s soda pressing to see them go.
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, you need two hearts and a diamond, but later, you might wish for a club.
What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married? Cantaloupe.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted at the wedding? Because he was outstanding in his field of couples counseling.
What’s the best way to read a book on anti-gravity at a wedding? You can’t put it down, just like my dance moves.
What did one boat say to the other boat? Are you up for a little row-mance?
Why don’t skeletons fight each other at weddings? They don’t have the guts for it.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet at the wedding? “Supplies!”
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry for their wedding? He wanted to rock her world.
What do you call an adventurous egg at a wedding? An eggs-plorer looking for his better half.
Why was the broom late for the wedding? It overswept.
What did the fisherman say to his bride? I’m hooked on you.
Why don’t you ever give balloons to pigs at weddings? Because they will let it go to their hams.
What did the light bulb say to the switch at the wedding? You turn me on.
Why was the computer cold at the wedding? It left its Windows open.
What did the left eye say to the right eye at the wedding? Between you and me, something smells.
Why was the belt arrested at the wedding? For holding up a pair of pants!
What did the electrician say to his bride? I’m shocked at how much I love you.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms at weddings? Because they make up everything.
What did the stamp say to the envelope on their wedding day? Stick with me and we’ll go places.
Why was the football coach yelling at the vending machine at the wedding? He wanted his quarterback.
What do you call a fake noodle at a wedding? An impasta.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the wedding? In case he got a hole in one.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on at the wedding? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Why was the math book sad at the wedding? Because it had too many problems.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire at a wedding? Frostbite.
Why was the tomato blushing at the wedding? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours at a wedding buffet? Nacho cheese.
Why did the cookie cry at the wedding? Because its parent was a wafer so long.
I’m Delaney Jameson, the soul behind inspiremymantra.com! As a healing expert, writer, and self-growth enthusiast, I’ve made it my mission to share my passion for affirmations and personal transformation with the world.
Through life’s ups and downs, I’ve discovered the power of healing and self-discovery. With every challenge, I’ve grown stronger, wiser, and more connected to my authentic self. This journey led me to create inspiremymantra.com, a space where I can share the lessons, love, and light that have transformed my life.
Join me as we explore the magic of affirmations, embrace self-improvement, and create the lives we’ve always dreamed of – one mantra at a time. Let’s grow together and unleash our full potential!
