The world of Trump jokes is a treasure trove of humor that captures the unique and often polarizing persona of the former U.S. President. Why do these jokes resonate so broadly?
It’s the blend of political satire and pop culture references, striking a chord with those who appreciate a clever quip about one of the most talked-about figures in recent history.
With a simple mug or a witty t-shirt, everyday items become vessels of laughter, turning the quirkiest aspects of politics into a source of universal amusement.
This exploration into Trump-themed jests isn’t just about poking fun; it’s a creative outlet for commentary, sparking conversation and laughter in equal measure. Ready to dive into the playful side of political discourse?
Popular Trump Jokes
Why doesn’t Trump ever wear glasses? Because he’s already got 2020.
Trump’s favorite book? “The Art of the Deal.” His least favorite? “The Constitution,” it’s too long.
How does Trump prepare for a debate? Mirror, mirror on the wall.
What’s Trump’s favorite game? Monopoly, but only when he gets to be the banker.
Why was Trump confused at the National Book Store? He couldn’t find the self-help section under “Perfect Presidents.”
Trump’s secret to a healthy life? Avoiding the White House vegetable garden.
How do you entertain Trump? Turn on the news and say it’s all about him.
Why did Trump install mirrors in the Oval Office? To make sure the office looked full.
What’s Trump’s favorite exercise? Running… for president.
Why doesn’t Trump trust stairs? Because he’s always taking escalators.
Trump’s favorite weather report? “Unprecedentedly sunny, just like my presidency.”
How does Trump follow a recipe? “Step 1: Declare it’s the best recipe ever. Step 2: Skip to the end.”
Why does Trump play golf? It’s the only place he can get a hole-in-one without Congress blocking it.
Trump’s idea of a balanced diet? A Big Mac in each hand.
Why did Trump get confused at the library? Too many “foreign” policy books.
How does Trump like his steak? Just like his presidency – rare and unprepared.
Trump’s favorite dance move? The wall – nobody gets past it.
Why does Trump love Twitter? It’s the one place he can limit characters more than his speeches.
What’s Trump’s favorite historical period? The gold rush – it matches his bathroom.
Why did Trump go to art school? To learn how to draw bigger crowds.
How does Trump change a lightbulb? Claims it’s the brightest ever, then pays someone else to do it.
Why was Trump surprised after planting a tree? It didn’t grow money.
Trump’s plan for reducing calories? Put a tax on them.
Why does Trump always carry a Sharpie? In case he needs to redraw maps.
How does Trump make America great again? By playing golf, one course at a time.
Why did Trump get lost driving? He can only turn right.
Trump’s favorite nursery rhyme? Humpty Trumpty built a great wall.
How does Trump dismiss science? “I have a natural instinct for this stuff.”
Why doesn’t Trump like windmills? He’s not a fan.
Trump’s favorite part of the newspaper? The classifieds, to hire new staff.
How did Trump try to reduce water consumption? By banning leaks.
Why did Trump love outer space? He heard there’s no impeachment there.
Trump’s strategy in chess? Build towers instead of pawns.
How does Trump deal with insomnia? Counting impeachment articles.
Why did Trump admire astronauts? They don’t need polls to soar high.
Trump’s favorite magical spell? Expelliarmus Obama!
Why doesn’t Trump use bookmarks? He prefers executive orders to keep his place.
How does Trump order his coffee? Like his victories – absolute and with no grounds.
Why did Trump refuse to play cards? The deck had too many suits.
Trump’s least favorite song? “We Are the World” – not enough America.
Best Trump Jokes
Trump’s secret service code name? “Orange Alert.”
How does Trump avoid computer viruses? He never accepts cookies from strangers.
Trump’s favorite chess piece? The king, because it never gets fired.
Why does Trump love Thanksgiving? Because it’s all about carving up something big.
How does Trump stay warm in winter? By burning all the news he doesn’t like.
Trump’s idea of a good night’s sleep? No leaks.
Why did Trump skip the gym? He gets enough exercise pushing his luck.
How does Trump organize his emails? “Inbox,” “Outbox,” and “Witch Hunt.”
Why is Trump’s bookshelf like a ghost town? Because all the books are ghostwritten.
Trump’s least favorite game? Truth or Dare.
How does Trump make his hair stand up? By telling it his poll numbers.
Why doesn’t Trump use spell check? He knows all the best words.
Trump’s favorite part of a joke? The alternative facts.
How does Trump choose his cabinet? Eenie, meenie, miney, moe.
Why did Trump go to space? To find more “space” for his ego.
Trump’s favorite plant? Anything but a “shrub.”
How does Trump stop a cold? By banning it from entering the country.
Trump’s least favorite vegetable? The one that makes him look orange.
Why does Trump play so much golf? It’s the only way he can score.
How does Trump keep his hair in place? Executive orders.
Why did Trump buy a boat? To make sure he could always stir the ship.
How does Trump decide what to tweet? Spin the controversy wheel.
Trump’s favorite magic trick? Making his tax returns disappear.
Why did Trump go to France? He heard they had a younger statue that was gifted from abroad.
How does Trump watch the news? By shouting back at the TV.
Why did Trump start a band? He loves to play the victim.
How does Trump get to sleep? By counting all his unfinished walls.
Trump’s favorite game to play with friends? Monopoly, but he always insists on being the bank.
Why did Trump make a great golfer? Because he’s good at avoiding the bunkers.
How does Trump pick his clothes? By choosing whatever makes the biggest statement.
New Trump Jokes
Trump’s new perfume? “Eau de Tweet.”
How does Trump pick his favorite movies? Anything with a wall.
Trump’s idea of a secret handshake? A tweet at midnight.
Why does Trump love escalators? They never let him down.
How does Trump like his news? Fake and with breakfast.
Trump’s favorite farm animal? The scapegoat.
Why did Trump start a bakery? He loves cooking up stories.
How does Trump tie his shoes? With alternative knots.
Why does Trump admire the moon? It claims it’s not satellite.
Trump’s least favorite music? Anything with a strong lead.
How does Trump dismiss environmentalists? “Too green for the gold room.”
Trump’s favorite hobby? Building walls with Lego.
Why did Trump buy a drone? To make selfies great again.
How does Trump choose his friends? Likes and retweets.
Trump’s favorite Olympic event? The long jump to conclusions.
Why does Trump love Halloween? He enjoys the mask debate.
How does Trump write a book? With a ghost tweeter.
Trump’s strategy for dealing with criticism? “Deflect and project.”
Why did Trump open a bar? He wanted to raise the bar on tweets.
How does Trump order at a restaurant? “Make my steak great again.”
Trump’s favorite science? “The art of the deal-nial.”
Why did Trump become a pilot? He loves controlling the narrative.
How does Trump relax? By putting on a news channel and yelling.
Trump’s favorite type of investment? Border walls.
Why did Trump start gardening? He heard it’s good for his base.
How does Trump play basketball? By always aiming for the right wing.
Trump’s favorite day of the week? “Winning Wednesday.”
Why did Trump join a choir? He wanted to control the narrative.
How does Trump celebrate Thanksgiving? By pardoning a turkey and then tweeting about it.
Trump’s method for solving puzzles? Claiming he has the best pieces.
Trump Walked Into A bar Jokes
Trump walked into a bar and ordered a wall. The bartender said, “Sorry, Mexico won’t pay for it.”
Trump strolled into a bar and asked for a Russian vodka. The bartender asked, “Collusion or no collusion?”
Trump wandered into a bar and requested a climate change cocktail. The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve fiction here.”
Trump marched into a bar, seeking a strong tweet. The bartender served him a “covfefe.”
Trump ambled into a bar and demanded a loyalty test. The bartender just served him a subpoena.
Trump sauntered into a bar looking for a stable genius drink. The bartender gave him a glass of water and a mirror.
Trump strutted into a bar and wanted a fast food feast. The bartender said, “This isn’t the White House.”
Trump meandered into a bar, asking for a wall on the rocks. The bartender said, “We only serve bridges here.”
Trump dashed into a bar, seeking an impeachment brew. The bartender served a peach mint instead.
Trump jogged into a bar and asked for the popular vote. The bartender said, “Sorry, we ran out in 2016.”
Trump pranced into a bar, demanding a fake news fizz. The bartender served him a reality check.
Trump slid into a bar, looking for an executive order. The bartender vetoed his request.
Trump bolted into a bar, craving a shutdown. The bartender said, “We’re essential; we never close.”
Trump paced into a bar, asking for a border barrier brew. The bartender suggested a bridge builder instead.
Trump sashayed into a bar, wanting a tweet storm. The bartender handed him a no-WiFi zone sign.
Trump galloped into a bar, seeking a golf club. The bartender offered him a job application instead.
Trump tiptoed into a bar, looking for a MAGA martini. The bartender served him a unity cocktail.
Trump stumbled into a bar, asking for an alternative fact. The bartender just handed him a newspaper.
Trump breezed into a bar, demanding a legacy liquor. The bartender served him a humble pie.
Trump shuffled into a bar, seeking a Supreme Court cider. The bartender said, “Judgment is on the house.”
Trump raced into a bar, asking for a trade war tonic. The bartender offered a peace pipe.
Trump hopped into a bar, looking for a press conference porter. The bartender told him to just speak clearly.
Trump skipped into a bar, desiring an electoral college cocktail. The bartender served a democracy draft.
Trump slipped into a bar, asking for a healthcare highball. The bartender said, “Pre-existing conditions apply.”
Trump charged into a bar, wanting an apprentice ale. The bartender told him, “You’re retired.”
Trump burst into a bar, craving an America first fizz. The bartender served a world peace wine.
Trump rolled into a bar, seeking an inauguration IPA. The bartender said, “Crowd size doesn’t matter here.”
Trump crept into a bar, looking for a bigly beer. The bartender corrected him, “It’s ‘big league.'”
Trump flew into a bar, asking for a space force stout. The bartender offered an earthbound espresso.
Trump walked into a bar with a Sharpie, asking to redraw the coastlines. The bartender handed him a globe and said, “Try not to start any storms.”
Trump Jokes For The Elections
Trump said he’d run a marathon before the election. Guess he loves races he can’t finish.
Trump announced his election campaign on Twitter, but autocorrect announced his resignation.
At the election debate, Trump said he’s a self-made man. Moderator asked, “So, why did you leave it unfinished?”
Trump promised to count all votes himself. He started at “a billion.”
Asked about his favorite election reform, Trump said, “More voting booths at Mar-a-Lago.”
Trump’s new election slogan: “Make America Vote Again – for me, preferably.”
During the election, Trump tried to woo voters with dance. Turns out, two left feet aren’t just a metaphor.
Trump said if he loses, he’d leave the country. Airlines started offering one-way discounts.
Trump’s idea of election interference? Changing WiFi passwords at Democratic headquarters.
For election security, Trump suggested using invisible ink. Said it works for his tax returns.
Trump wanted to host an election party. Asked if it’s a victory party, he said, “It’s more of a surprise party.”
Trump’s election motto: “If at first you don’t succeed, declare victory anyway.”
When asked about his election platform, Trump said, “It’s about yay high, makes me look taller.”
Trump’s new election strategy: “If you can’t beat them, tweet about them.”
For the election, Trump introduced a new app: “Tinder, but for finding your perfect polling station.”
Trump’s debate prep was unique: “Talk loud, carry a big stick, and hide the microphone.”
Asked about electronic voting, Trump suggested, “Maybe we should just use slot machines.”
Trump’s plan for the post-election: “Write a book – ‘The Art of the Deal…with Losing’.”
Trump said his favorite part of the election is the suspense. “Like, will I tweet or won’t I?”
On election night, Trump wanted to wear a camouflage suit. Said he might need to blend in.
Trump said he’d improve election turnout by turning polling stations into golf courses.
Asked about voter ID laws, Trump suggested, “Just use your Twitter handle.”
Trump’s election campaign bus was a limo. He said it’s to maintain social distance from reality.
Trump proposed a new election day tradition: “National wear your ballot day.”
When Trump heard about mail-in voting, he asked if he could use his own stamps.
Trump’s idea for a peaceful election? “A beauty pageant for ballots. May the best vote win.”
Asked how he’d celebrate an election win, Trump said, “Probably tweet about it.”
Trump suggested moving Election Day to April 1st. “Fits the mood,” he said.
When asked about the electoral college, Trump wondered if they offer a degree in winning elections.
Trump’s campaign promise was to build a wall around the opposition’s headquarters. “Keep the ideas out,” he said.
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