Stoner Jokes

Stoner Jokes – Laughter for the Chill Soul

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Exploring the realm of stoner jokes reveals a culture where humor blossoms amidst clouds of smoke, offering a lighthearted take on the experiences shared by cannabis enthusiasts.

Why do these jokes resonate so deeply within the community?

The answer lies in the unique blend of wit, timing, and the universal language of laughter that transcends the haze, connecting people through shared chuckles and nods of understanding.

From clever puns that play on words to observational humor that highlights the quirkiest aspects of stoner behavior, these jokes serve as a testament to the creativity sparked by a little greenery.

This collection promises to not just tickle your funny bone but also illuminate the communal joy found in the simple act of sharing a laugh.

Perfect for those seeking a giggle or a deeper connection over common ground, these jokes are a doorway to the lighter side of life.

Stoner Jokes

Stoner Jokes

Stoner sees a shooting star. Wishes for a lighter sky.

“Lost my weed,” said the stoner. Found it in his hand.

Why did the stoner plant cheerios? Thought they were donut seeds.

Stoners at an art gallery. “This place is high on culture.”

Joint in a space suit? High-er education.

“This weed’s groundbreaking,” he said, planting it.

Stoner watches pot boil. Forgets to cook.

“Water tastes loud,” whispers the stoned.

Stoner’s favorite exercise? Running out of weed.

How do stoners apologize? “Sorry, I was just spaced out.”

“What time is it?” asked the stoner. “Time to get a watch,” joint replied.

Stoner gets lost. GPS says, “High, you’ve reached your destination.”

A stoner’s to-do list: 1. Get pen. 2. Forget what for.

Why don’t stoners argue? They can’t weed out the problem.

Stoner’s alarm clock? A bag of chips opening.

“Feeling pot-riotic,” said the stoner wearing green.

“How’s life?” “Rolling along,” replies the stoner.

A stoner’s favorite horror movie? “The High-ning.”

Why did the stoner sit on the printer? Wanted to get high on paper.

“Caught a buzz,” said the stoner swatting at bees.

“My pot’s calling,” he said, phone on silent.

Stoner at a fork in the road. Takes the spoon.

Stoner’s diet? High fiber.

“Out of joint,” complains the stoner’s body.

“This weed is tree-mendous,” says the environmentalist stoner.

“Feel the burn,” said the stoner doing no exercise.

Stoner reads a cookbook. Gets baked.

“Passing cloud,” stoner says, sharing a joint.

“Make it snappy,” said the stoner to the alligator joint holder.

“High and seek,” the game stoners can’t finish.

“Lost my lighter. It’s a dark time,” he said.

“This song is green,” said the stoner adjusting the volume.

“Elevator music’s higher here,” observed the stoner.

“Let’s roll,” said the stoner, standing still.

“Joint committee,” the stoner’s solution to every problem.

“Smoke signals,” said the stoner, texting.

“Weed it and weep,” he said, reading a menu.

“Can’t find my phone,” he said, talking on it.

“This pizza is a piece of art,” stoner says, framing it.

“Found my comfort zone,” said the stoner, in a hammock with a joint.

Funny Stoner Jokes

Funny Stoner Jokes

Why do stoners make good storytellers? Their tales always have a high point.

Stoner’s favorite holiday? High-dependence Day.

What’s a stoner’s favorite game? Bake-believe.

How do you know a stoner invented the parachute? It opens on cloud nine.

Why did the stoner admire the quilt? It was patchwork perfection.

Stoner’s favorite superhero? The Incredible Bulk.

What do you call a stoner that just broke up? Home-baked.

How do stoners write letters? With pot-able ink.

Why do stoners always carry a pencil? In case they need to draw a breath.

What’s a stoner’s favorite fantasy creature? A high-corn.

Why was the stoner bad at history? He always got stuck in the High Ages.

What do stoners call a boat party? A high tide.

Why do stoners love astronomy? They’re always spacing out.

What’s a stoner’s life motto? “Live high, die whenever.”

Why don’t stoners use calendars? They get lost in dates.

How do stoners decorate their room? With pot-plants.

Why are stoners bad at secrets? They always let the cat out of the baggie.

What do you call a stoner with two spliffs? Double jointed.

Why do stoners like ancient Greece? High Athens.

How do stoners send mail? Through the high-post.

Why did the stoner get lost at sea? He was too far out.

What’s a stoner’s favorite type of music? High-hop.

Why did the stoner stare at the juice carton? It said concentrate.

What do stoners use to clean their clothes? Deter-high-gent.

Why do stoners love cheap flights? They enjoy getting high for less.

What’s a stoner’s favorite kind of test? A high-Q test.

Why did the stoner refuse the map? He preferred to wander high and low.

How do stoners light up a room? With their glowing personality.

Why did the stoner become a chef? He was good at baking.

What’s a stoner’s favorite weather? Lightly clouded with a chance of high.

Best High Jokes

Why did the cloud date the fog? They were high on each other.

“I’m not high, I’m altitude adjusted,” he explained.

What do you call an optimistic pothead? High hopes.

High and playing hide and seek? Now you’re lost.

Why do birds fly south? It’s faster than walking high.

“Got a new high score,” said the gamer, lit.

What’s a mountaineer’s favorite music? High notes.

High in math class? Now it’s a numbers game.

“Lost my weed,” he said, high on the irony.

Why do stoners love tall stories? They’re higher in plot.

What’s a kite’s life philosophy? Stay high and connected.

High at the library? Now it’s a trip of knowledge.

“I was going to get high,” he forgot why.

Why don’t secrets stay with stoners? Too high to remember.

“High on life,” he said, on the couch.

Stoner’s favorite movie? “Up in Smoke.”

How do you know a cake is stoned? It’s baked.

What do you call a high wizard? A baked magician.

“Elevate your mind,” he said, taking the elevator.

What’s a stoner’s favorite place? High Park.

Why did the stoner admire the skyscraper? It was high-reaching.

High at the gym? Now lifting spirits.

Why did the joke go over the stoner’s head? It was too high-brow.

“High tide,” said the stoner at the beach, rolling.

What’s a balloon’s advice? Stay high but grounded.

“Sky’s the limit,” he said, roof high.

Why did the stoner get lost in thought? It was a high concept.

“Keep off the grass,” read differently by the stoner.

Why was the astronaut a good baker? He understood space cakes.

“High on the list,” he said, forgetting the groceries.

Stoner Jokes One Liners

Stoners don’t tell secrets; they weed them out.

I speak fluent movie quotes and stoner thoughts.

Ever notice how “baked” spells “be a kid” backwards? Me neither, until now.

Stoner’s favorite map? High-ways.

Joint account: where stoners keep their weed.

Stoners always look for the pot of gold but settle for green.

“I’m on a sea-food diet. I see food, I get high, I forget to eat it.”

When stoners play cards, they deal in high stakes.

Lighters are stoners’ best friends; they always spark joy.

A stoner’s mind is like a fog machine—hazy but entertaining.

“High-dration” is key for a good session, or so I’m told.

Stoners believe in higher education—literally.

A stoner’s favorite exercise? Puff, puff, pass.

In a stoner’s world, every lane is the high lane.

Stoners love the fall; it’s harvest time.

“I was gonna clean my room, but then I got high” – Afroman, and every stoner.

Stoners always aim high but settle for the couch.

A stoner’s diet includes all kinds of joints.

My stoner friend’s favorite horror movie? “The Bonging.”

Stoners prefer their jokes rolled, not told.

Stoner’s life motto: “Keep calm and carry bong.”

In the stoner Olympics, everyone’s a high jumper.

Stoners always have joint custody.

For stoners, every clock is a time to toke.

A stoner’s favorite historical period? The Stone(d) Age.

“I’m so high right now” – stoners and pilots.

Stoners always get to the joint point.

Why did the stoner cross the road? To get to the higher side.

My stoner friend’s autobiography: “In High Spirits.”

Stoners’ favorite weather report: Cloudy with a chance of munchies.

Stoner Dad Jokes

Why did the stoner plant cheer up the garden? It always had the dankest jokes.

“Hey, what do we call a happy hippie?” “A Jolly Green Giant!”

How do you keep a stoner in suspense? I’ll tell ya tomorrow.

Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Hemp.” “Hemp who?” “Hemp me, I forgot my keys again.”

Did you hear about the stoner who finally studied for a drug test? Spoiler: He aced it.

What’s a stoner’s favorite way to communicate? High-Fi!

Why don’t stoners argue? Because they can’t handle high-tension situations.

How does a stoner pay for his pizza? With pot-coin.

What did the stoner dad say to his kids about drugs? “Weed out the bad ones.”

How do you know if a stoner is well-hydrated? They reach a new level of high-dration.

What does a stoner do when it’s cold? He turns up the heat and chills.

Why did the stoner get a goldfish? To have a bowl that cleans itself.

Dad, why don’t you like vaporizers? “Son, I prefer my jokes and my sessions to have a slow burn.”

What’s a stoner’s favorite horror movie? “The High Exorcist.”

Why did the stoner refuse the spreadsheet task? He was more into joint projects.

Can you pass the salt? “Sure, but can you pass the vibe check?”

Why are stoner inventions the best? They always come from a joint effort.

What did the stoner say at the job interview? “My specialty? Rolling out new ideas.”

How do stoners write emails? With a high CC.

Why did the stoner get lost on the way to the party? He took the high road.

Dad, what’s for dinner? “Anything you want, as long as it’s baked.”

Why do stoners make great detectives? They always weed out the culprits.

How did the stoner win the gardening contest? His plants were always higher.

What’s a stoner’s favorite exercise? Joint mobility.

Why don’t stoners play hide and seek? Good luck hiding when you’re that lit.

How do you know a stoner designed your calendar? April 20th is marked as a high holiday.

What did the stoner say after finishing a puzzle? “Man, this was more challenging than rolling a perfect joint.”

Why don’t stoners make good chefs? They keep forgetting the recipe half-way through.

Dad, can you tell me a bedtime story? “Once upon a time, in a faraway cloud…”

Why do stoners always carry a lighter? You never know when you’ll need to spark an idea.

Stoner Knock Knock Jokes

  1. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Hash.” “Hash who?” “Bless you!”
  2. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Weed.” “Weed who?” “We’d better let me in, I forgot my key again.”
  3. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Dope.” “Dope who?” “Dope’n the door, it’s cold out here.”
  4. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Mary.” “Mary who?” “Marry Jane, your favorite neighbor.”
  5. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Joint.” “Joint who?” “Joint decision to let me in, please?”
  6. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Baked.” “Baked who?” “Baked you a pie, but I got hungry.”
  7. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “High.” “High who?” “Hi there, can you save me a slice?”
  8. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Stash.” “Stash who?” “Stash your snacks, I’m coming in!”
  9. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Herb.” “Herb who?” “Herb your request, I’m here to deliver.”
  10. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Pot.” “Pot who?” “Pot-ential new friend, open up!”
  11. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Blunt.” “Blunt who?” “Bluntly speaking, can you let me in?”
  12. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Toke.” “Toke who?” “Took so long, I fell asleep out here.”
  13. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Bong.” “Bong who?” “Bong appetit, dinner’s ready!”
  14. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Canna.” “Canna who?” “Canna friend come in?”
  15. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Hashish.” “Hashish who?” “Hashish the way to your heart?”
  16. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Dank.” “Dank who?” “Dank you for finally opening up.”
  17. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Grass.” “Grass who?” “Grass me by the hand, let’s go on an adventure.”
  18. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Pipe.” “Pipe who?” “Pipe down and open the door!”
  19. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Munch.” “Munch who?” “Munchies! Got any snacks?”
  20. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Cheech.” “Cheech who?” “Cheech and Chong’s missing member.”
  21. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Haze.” “Haze who?” “Haze a good day, isn’t it?”
  22. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Roll.” “Roll who?” “Roll out the red carpet, here I come.”
  23. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Spliff.” “Spliff who?” “Spliff-ting headache, let me in for a cure.”
  24. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Puff.” “Puff who?” “Puff, puff, please pass the door handle.”
  25. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Stoned.” “Stoned who?” “Stoned you not hear me knocking?”
  26. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Ganja.” “Ganja who?” “Ganja let me in, or what?”
  27. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Indica.” “Indica who?” “In da couch, stuck, can you help?”
  28. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Sativa.” “Sativa who?” “Sativa moment, I thought you were out.”
  29. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Hemp.” “Hemp who?” “Hemp me, I’m stuck outside.”
  30. Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” “Chronic.” “Chronic who?” “Chronic late, but I brought snacks!”

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