Referee jokes? Oh, they’re gold. It’s like, you’ve been there, right? Yelling at the screen because a call went sideways.
And it’s not just the calls themselves; it’s the whole spectacle – the theatrics of disbelief, the arms thrown up in exasperation.
Here’s the thing: we weave in the long stories, the kind that meander a bit, filled with the gritty details of those unforgettable game moments.
But then, bam! A quick one-liner jumps out, as sharp and surprising as a ref’s whistle.
This mix? It’s what makes reading these jokes feel like you’re flipping through the best (or worst) game highlights, each one sparking that shared feeling of “Oh, I’ve been there” among fans, players, even refs themselves.
Dive in, and let’s find some humor in the chaos of the game.
Referee Jokes
Why did the referee bring a pencil to the game? To draw the line!
How do you know if a referee loves gardening? Every game, they’re planting flags!
What’s a referee’s favorite type of dog? A whistle-blower.
Why was the soccer referee bad at math? He couldn’t count past three!
How do referees stay cool? By standing near the fans.
What did the fish say to the referee? “You’re not being fair, you’re always taking sides!”
Why don’t referees ever get lost? They always follow the rules.
What’s a referee’s least favorite spice? Offside-on.
Why was the basketball referee asked to leave the party? He kept blowing his whistle.
How do referees apologize? “I mistook.”
Why did the referee break up with his girlfriend? Too many fouls in their relationship.
What’s a ghost’s favorite soccer position? Ghoul-keeper!
Why do referees make terrible secret agents? They always give away their signals.
What do referees and magicians have in common? Both change the game with a wave of their hands.
Why did the referee go to art school? To learn how to draw a foul.
How did the referee compliment the skunk? “You have a great scent for the game.”
Why was the football referee always calm? He knew how to handle the flags.
What do you call a lazy referee? A sit-by official.
Why did the referee wear glasses? To see through all the acting.
What makes a referee’s garden so special? It’s full of penalty shoots.
Why did the cookie go to a soccer game? To crumble under pressure.
How does a referee start a race? On your mark, get set, blow!
Why was the referee a great dancer? He knew all the right moves.
What do you call a referee in winter? A snow blower.
Why did the referee go to therapy? For making too many bad calls.
What’s a referee’s favorite snack? Yellow cardamom cookies.
Why don’t referees play hide and seek? Because good ones are hard to find.
How did the turkey become a soccer referee? He mastered the fowl play.
What do you call an overweight referee? A heavy whistler.
Why do referees always look so fit? Penalty runs.
How do you praise a referee? “You’re absolutely spot-on!”
What’s a referee’s favorite game? Flag football.
Why did the referee take up yoga? To improve his foul pose.
How do referees like their eggs? With a side of penalty.
What’s a referee’s favorite holiday? Flag Day.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the referee changing.
What’s a referee’s least favorite fruit? Sour grapes.
Why are referees great at parties? They know how to call the shots.
What do you call a referee with a cold? A sneezy official.
Why don’t referees ever get cold? They have thick skins.
Football Referee Jokes
Why do referees make poor carpenters? They can’t measure up to the task!
Ref says to a player, “I could’ve played pro if not for an injury.” Player: “What happened?” Ref: “Got hit by reality.”
How do referees write their reports? With a penalty pen!
Why did the ref bring a ladder to the game? To catch the high balls.
Ref to a goalkeeper: “Ever thought of being a gardener?” Keeper: “Why?” Ref: “You’re great at saving.”
What’s a ref’s favorite music genre? Whistle-while-you-work.
Why did the ref date a clock? He loved someone who could keep time.
Ref’s motto: “To err is human; to forgive is not in my rulebook.”
Why don’t refs get along with ghosts? They’re not fans of spectating.
How do refs stay in shape? By running from the fans.
Ref at dinner: “This chicken is as cold as my game calls!”
Why was the referee a bad singer? He couldn’t find the right pitch.
Ref’s advice in life: “Always keep your goals in sight.”
How do refs cheer up? By watching a game they’re not officiating.
Why do refs hate phones? Too many missed calls.
What’s a ref’s favorite ice cream? Whistle-nut crunch.
Ref to player: “If you run as much as you argue, you’d score more goals.”
Why did the ref wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
How do refs pick a favorite team? They flip a coin.
Ref’s favorite movie? “Gone with the Wind” for its dramatic flags.
Why do refs make bad thieves? They always get caught in the act.
Ref’s diet tip: “Avoid yellow cards, they’re high in calories.”
What do refs and weathermen have in common? Predictable unpredictability.
Ref at a party: “I’m only here for the free kicks.”
Why did the ref apply to NASA? He’s good at space management.
Ref’s love life status: Single. Offside decisions aren’t appealing.
How do refs make tea? By brewing up controversy.
Ref’s favorite day of the week? Whistle Wednesday.
Why are refs bad at history? They only remember the last call.
Ref’s workout secret: Flexibility to overlook certain rules.
Funny Soccer Referee Jokes
Why do soccer refs make great detectives? They notice every little foul play.
Ref’s pet peeve? Players who keep pushing their buttons – they don’t have any!
Soccer ref at dinner: “I’ll call the shots.”
How do refs like their eggs? With a side of penalty kicks.
Ref’s favorite school subject? History – they’re great at looking back!
Why are refs bad at geometry? They only know about lines and circles.
Ref’s favorite type of movie? Anything but action – too many clashes.
Why do refs hate elevators? They prefer a level playing field.
Ref to a player: “You’d win more if you chased the ball as much as you argue.”
How do refs stay so fit? By jumping to conclusions.
Why don’t refs use phones? They miss too many calls.
What’s a ref’s favorite weather? Foul.
Why do refs carry yellow cards? To brighten up their day.
Ref’s biggest fear? Silent stadiums – they love the sound of their own whistle.
How do refs make coffee? By brewing up controversy.
Why do refs avoid banks? They’re not good with saving.
Ref’s favorite day? Match day – they get to show off their card collection.
Why do refs wear black? To attend the funeral of missed calls.
What’s a ref’s favorite hobby? Flag waving.
Why do refs make terrible chefs? They always spoil the broth with too many cooks.
Ref’s least favorite music band? The Yellow Cards.
Why do refs make bad poets? Their lines are too rigid.
How do refs prefer their drinks? With a twist of lime.
Ref’s favorite game? Not soccer – it’s too straightforward.
Why don’t refs like to share? They’re used to making solo calls.
Ref to player: “Ever thought of a career in drama?”
Why are refs like magicians? They make players disappear with red cards.
What’s a ref’s least favorite car? Anything offside.
Why do refs love gardening? They have a knack for planting flags.
How do refs celebrate? By blowing their own whistle.
Female Referee Jokes
Why did the female referee bring a pencil to the game? Because she wanted to draw the line!
How does a female ref make her coffee? With a little whistle while she works.
Referee to player: “I’m like a library book—I’ve got fine written all over me!”
What’s a female referee’s favorite type of music? Hip-hopscotch!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ref. Ref who? Ref-eree you ready to play by the rules?
When does a female referee wear red? When she decides to card herself for being too awesome.
Referee: “I caught you offside.” Player: “I was just admiring your decision-making from afar!”
Why do female referees always carry a spare whistle? In case they get into a tight spot!
What does a female ref do when she forgets her whistle? She just uses her natural ability to command attention.
Player to Ref: “Is it true you can stop a game with one look?” Ref: “Yes, especially when it’s past my coffee time.”
How do you know if a female referee is at a party? She brings her own yellow and red cards for the dance floor!
What’s a female referee’s favorite snack? Foul-tasting chips.
Why did the female referee break up with the scoreboard? She felt he was too focused on numbers and not on commitment.
When does a female ref wear sneakers? When she wants to kick it up a notch!
Referee: “I’ve got an eye for detail.” Player: “And I’ve got a foot for soccer, let’s see who wins.”
How does a female referee stay so fit? By running from her decisions—just kidding, she stands by them!
Why was the female referee admired by all? She knew how to keep everyone in line, on and off the field.
What do you call a female referee with a sense of humor? A game changer!
Why don’t female referees get lost? Because they always know where the lines are.
How do female referees spice up a game? By throwing in a little drama with every card.
Why did the female referee wear glasses? To see through all the players’ excuses!
Player: “Can you give me a hint on how to avoid a red card?” Ref: “Try playing by the rules for a change.”
What’s a female ref’s favorite game? Catching players off-guard.
Why did the female referee get a standing ovation? For her unparalleled ability to call it like it is.
How does a female referee deal with cold weather? She just lets the heated exchanges warm her up!
What’s the female referee’s favorite dance move? The offside shuffle.
Why was the female referee considered a good secret keeper? Because she knows how to blow the whistle but chooses when to do it.
How can you make a female referee smile? Show her a game where no one argues with her calls.
What does a female referee bring to a potluck? A plate of fair play with a side of order.
Why are female referees great at parties? They know exactly when to call time out on bad behavior.
Funny Hockey Referee Jokes
How do hockey referees stay cool? They just chill with the ice.
Why did the referee bring a ladder to the game? To catch the high-sticking.
Ref to player: “I’d call you for icing, but you’re not that sweet!”
What’s a hockey referee’s favorite food? Zebra cakes!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owen. Owen who? 0-and-1, just like your team’s score tonight!
When do referees wear stripes? When they want to blend in with the ice markings.
Referee to goalie: “Your net’s so empty, it echoes!”
Why do referees have the hardest job? They skate on thin ice, literally and figuratively.
What does a ref do when he loses his whistle? He lets the players police themselves—chaos ensues.
Player to Ref: “Do you believe in love at first sight?” Ref: “Yes, I love every game I see.”
How do referees break up a fight? By threatening to send everyone to the penalty box, including themselves.
What’s a referee’s favorite movie? “Frozen,” for the love of ice.
Why did the referee go to art school? To perfect drawing the line.
When is a hockey game like a tea party? When the ref keeps calling for icing.
Referee: “I don’t play favorites.” Player: “Except with the ice cleaner, right?”
How do refs make tough calls? With a lot of cold calculation.
Why are hockey refs great at dates? They know all the ice breakers.
What do you call a funny hockey referee? A puck-ler!
Why was the ref afraid of the dark? He couldn’t see where to drop the puck.
How does a referee get to the game? By sliding into DMs—Decision Making, that is.
Player to Ref: “Can I give you a tip?” Ref: “Sure, but no bribes, please.”
What makes a referee blush? A cheeky player sliding into the penalty box with a wink.
How do refs stay so fit? By dodging all the complaints.
Why did the ref throw a towel on the ice? To signal the end of a clean game.
What’s a ref’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat to skate to.
Why don’t refs ever get lost? Because they always follow the play.
How do refs keep their hair so perfect? The cold air acts as natural hairspray.
Player to Ref: “Ever thought of being a detective?” Ref: “I always spot the foul play.”
What does a ref bring to a potluck? A dish best served cold: justice.
Why are refs the life of the party? Because they know how to break the ice and call the shots.
Referee Dad Jokes
Why did the referee wear glasses? To make better calls, but he still missed a few spots.
How does a referee flirt? “Is your name Offside? Because my heart skipped a beat.”
Referee to player: “Tie your shoes, or I’ll have to call a trip!”
What’s a referee’s favorite type of dog? A whistle-blower.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to play without any rules?
When do referees go to the beach? To work on their tan lines and foul lines.
Referee to goalie: “I’d tell you a joke, but you might not catch it.”
Why don’t referees ever get cold? They’re always in the heat of the game.
What does a referee do when he’s tired? He calls a timeout on life.
Player to Ref: “Got any good jokes?” Ref: “Sure, but I might have to penalize you for groaning.”
How do referees say goodbye? “It’s been fair play, see you next game!”
Why was the referee sad at the party? He missed the goal of having fun.
What’s a referee’s least favorite food? Cheesy calls.
When is a game like a pancake? When it’s flipped by a bad call.
Referee: “I had a dream I was a whistle.” Player: “That blows!”
How does a referee stop a sneeze? By blowing the whistle on it.
Why do referees make good judges? They’re used to making the call.
What’s a referee’s favorite candy? Whistle pops.
Why was the referee always calm? He knew how to play it cool under pressure.
How do refs stay in shape? By running from their decisions.
Referee to team: “I’m not saying you’re bad at soccer, but the grass has more goals than you.”
What makes referees great at parties? They know how to keep things in order.
Why don’t referees ever get lost? They always follow the play-by-play.
How do referees like their eggs? With a side of foul.
Referee to player: “Your playing style is so unique, even I can’t predict your next move.”
Why do referees avoid the bakery? Too many turnovers.
How does a referee cheer up? By giving life a red card and starting fresh.
What’s a referee’s favorite game? Making the right calls, even in monopoly.
Why do referees love gardening? They appreciate a well-kept field.
Referee to player: “You remind me of my shoes—constantly offside!”
I’m Delaney Jameson, the soul behind inspiremymantra.com! As a healing expert, writer, and self-growth enthusiast, I’ve made it my mission to share my passion for affirmations and personal transformation with the world.
Through life’s ups and downs, I’ve discovered the power of healing and self-discovery. With every challenge, I’ve grown stronger, wiser, and more connected to my authentic self. This journey led me to create inspiremymantra.com, a space where I can share the lessons, love, and light that have transformed my life.
Join me as we explore the magic of affirmations, embrace self-improvement, and create the lives we’ve always dreamed of – one mantra at a time. Let’s grow together and unleash our full potential!
