Narcissist jokes: a delightful paradox blending humor with a pinch of truth. These quips and one-liners delve into the world of narcissism, playfully poking fun at its exaggerated traits.
Ever wondered how narcissists view the world or interact in absurd, self-centered ways? These jokes offer a comical lens to explore such scenarios.
Through clever wordplay and amusing situations, they spotlight the eccentricities of narcissists, making light of what might otherwise be a heavy subject.
This collection of jokes isn’t just about laughs; it’s a lighthearted journey into understanding the peculiar world of narcissism. So, ready to explore this unique blend of humor and insight? Let the fun begin!
Best Narcissist Jokes
Why did the narcissist become a chef? To always be the “center of the plate”!
A narcissist says to a mirror: “Hey, it’s my favorite person!”
What’s a narcissist’s favorite game? Guess Who – as long as all the characters are them.
How does a narcissist change a lightbulb? They hold it and the world revolves around them to screw it in!
What’s a narcissist’s idea of a team sport? A mirror selfie competition.
Why don’t narcissists play hide and seek? They always end up finding themselves.
A narcissist at an art gallery says: “These paintings are nice, but where am I?”
Why did the narcissist break up with GPS? It dared to give them directions.
What’s a narcissist’s favorite musical note? “Me-me-me!”
Why did the narcissist cross the road? To take a selfie on the other side.
How does a narcissist tell time? By checking how long people look at them.
Why was the narcissist bad at algebra? They couldn’t find X without it reflecting them.
A narcissist says during yoga: “I’m not just bending over backwards; I’m amazing at it.”
What do you call a group of narcissists? An ego-system.
Why don’t narcissists use bookmarks? They assume every page stops at them.
What’s a narcissist’s favorite thing about nature? Their reflection in the water.
How does a narcissist write a book? “Chapter 1: Me, Chapter 2: Also Me…”
Why do narcissists love space? They believe the universe revolves around them.
A narcissist at the beach says: “The sun isn’t the only thing shining here.”
What’s a narcissist’s least favorite word? “We.”
Why don’t narcissists play chess? They can’t stand being a pawn for even a second.
How does a narcissist apologize? “I’m sorry you don’t understand my greatness.”
Why did the narcissist refuse to study history? They weren’t in it.
What’s a narcissist’s favorite hobby? Reflecting on themselves.
Why did the narcissist become a pilot? To be above everyone else.
What does a narcissist call a selfie stick? A hand of applause.
Why do narcissists love mirrors? They get to meet their heroes every day.
What’s a narcissist’s idea of charity? Giving someone a photo of themselves.
Why did the narcissist become an actor? To always be in the spotlight.
How does a narcissist make coffee? They put their mug in it.
Why do narcissists excel at social distancing? They’re already avoiding everyone but themselves.
What’s a narcissist’s favorite animal at the zoo? The peacock – they relate to the show-off.
Why was the narcissist bad at math? They thought multiplication meant more of them.
How do narcissists celebrate their birthdays? By thanking their parents for creating perfection.
Why did the narcissist refuse to play team sports? They don’t believe in supporting roles.
What’s a narcissist’s favorite season? They think it’s always them-season.
Why don’t narcissists get lost? They believe every road leads to them.
What’s a narcissist’s life motto? “Mirror, mirror on the wall, I’m my favorite person of them all.”
Why do narcissists hate libraries? Too many books, not enough mirrors.
What’s a narcissist’s idea of a perfect day? Every day – as long as it’s about them.
Covert Narcissist Jokes
Why do covert narcissists love puzzles? They always find themselves in the most complicated pieces.
A covert narcissist at a concert says: “Sure, the band is good, but listen to me talk about my music taste.”
How does a covert narcissist take a group photo? Front and center, but pretending to be humble about it.
Why are covert narcissists bad at sports? They’re too busy trying to subtly show they’re the best.
What’s a covert narcissist’s favorite hobby? Fishing for compliments.
How do covert narcissists choose their pets? They find the one that looks most like them.
Why did the covert narcissist become a magician? They love the attention but pretend they don’t.
A covert narcissist says at a party: “I don’t like to brag, but…”
Why do covert narcissists love cloudy days? They think the sun is taking a break to admire them.
What’s a covert narcissist’s favorite board game? Monopoly – subtly making it all about their success.
How do covert narcissists celebrate victories? By pretending they didn’t even try.
Why do covert narcissists love mirrors? They admire themselves while pretending to check the decor.
A covert narcissist at a restaurant says: “I’m not a foodie, but let me critique every dish.”
Why do covert narcissists make bad comedians? They only laugh at their own jokes, subtly.
What’s a covert narcissist’s favorite movie genre? Documentaries, especially if they can relate it back to themselves.
How do covert narcissists view teamwork? As a chance to outshine everyone, discreetly.
Why do covert narcissists excel in hide and seek? They hide their ego but still want to be found first.
A covert narcissist says in a museum: “I’m no expert, but let me explain this art to you.”
Why do covert narcissists dislike loud parties? They can’t hear the quiet praise for themselves.
What’s a covert narcissist’s approach to charity? Giving anonymously, but somehow everyone finds out.
How do covert narcissists choose their friends? They look for mirrors, not people.
Why do covert narcissists make good detectives? They’re used to focusing on the smallest details – about themselves.
A covert narcissist at a wedding says: “I don’t like attention, but did you see my outfit?”
Why are covert narcissists bad at gardening? They compete with the flowers for admiration.
What’s a covert narcissist’s favorite pastime? Subtly turning every conversation back to themselves.
How do covert narcissists go camping? They blend in with nature, but still stand out.
Why do covert narcissists love silent movies? They imagine themselves as the star, quietly.
A covert narcissist in a book club says: “I don’t usually give opinions, but let me dominate the discussion.”
Why do covert narcissists make bad musicians? They play the victim better than any instrument.
What’s a covert narcissist’s favorite exercise? Jogging, but only if they’re subtly being watched.
Narcissist Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? It’s me, obviously. Me, obviously who? Exactly, I’m the most important, aren’t I?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Control. Control who? Control yourself, I’m the only one who matters here.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Just in time to hear about my day, right?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting narcissist. Interrupting narcis— I’m the best, don’t you agree?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mirror. Mirror who? Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? Me!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ego. Ego who? Ego bigger than this house!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Genius. Genius who? Genius at making everything about me.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Self. Self who? Self-obsessed, but let’s talk more about me.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spotlight. Spotlight who? Spotlight needs to be on me at all times!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Best. Best who? Best at everything, that’s who.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Admire. Admire who? Admire myself every chance I get.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Important. Important who? Important person, me. Open up!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Winner. Winner who? Winner of any argument, especially with myself.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Legend. Legend who? Legend in my own mind, of course.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star. Star who? Star of every show, especially this one.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Awesome. Awesome who? Awesome me, who else would it be?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fabulous. Fabulous who? Fabulous me, but you already knew that.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gift. Gift who? Gift to humanity, me!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Brag. Brag who? Brag about myself? Don’t mind if I do!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Incredible. Incredible who? Incredible me, are you even surprised?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Charm. Charm who? Charm you with my brilliance, naturally.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Confidence. Confidence who? Confidence, all mine, none left for you.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Idol. Idol who? Idol of myself, who else?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Perfection. Perfection who? Perfection personified, that’s me.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mirror. Mirror who? Mirror loves to reflect my greatness.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Photographer. Photographer who? Photographer here to capture my good side—every side!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fashion. Fashion who? Fashion icon, and that icon is me.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vanity. Vanity who? Vanity, my favorite sin.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Universe. Universe who? Universe revolves around me, didn’t you know?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Center. Center who? Center of attention, as always.
Funny Narcissist Jokes
Why do narcissists avoid books? They can’t stand the characters stealing their spotlight.
What do narcissists use instead of GPS? Just their instincts, because they always believe they’re right.
How do narcissists make a toast? By holding up the mirror and saying “Cheers to me!”
Why are narcissists terrible at math? They believe one plus one equals just one: them.
What’s a narcissist’s favorite hobby? Looking in the mirror and admiring their biggest fan.
How do narcissists throw a party? They invite themselves and talk about their favorite person: them.
Why do narcissists make poor farmers? They can’t let the plants grow taller than their ego.
What’s a narcissist’s favorite holiday? Their birthday, celebrated all year round.
Why are narcissists bad at chess? They think every piece is a king – themselves.
How do narcissists like their eggs? In the spotlight – sunny side up!
What do narcissists do when they see a shooting star? Wish for more mirrors.
Why do narcissists struggle with puzzles? They can’t fit their oversized ego into one piece.
How do narcissists solve problems? By assuming they’re always the solution.
Why do narcissists love elevators? They enjoy the ups and downs centered around them.
What’s a narcissist’s favorite type of music? Anything, as long as the lyrics are about them.
How do narcissists choose their clothes? By asking, “Does this make me look more important?”
Why don’t narcissists play team sports? There’s no ‘I’ in team, but they think there should be.
What’s a narcissist’s idea of a balanced diet? Anything that feeds their ego.
Why do narcissists hate knock-knock jokes? They prefer monologues over dialogues.
How do narcissists like their coffee? Self-centered, with a sprinkle of superiority.
What’s a narcissist’s favorite workout? Flexing their self-admiration muscles in the mirror.
Why do narcissists make bad historians? They only remember the events where they were the star.
How do narcissists decorate their homes? With portraits of themselves, of course!
Why are narcissists bad at giving gifts? They keep giving pictures of themselves.
What’s a narcissist’s favorite weather? A spotlight sun, shining only on them.
How do narcissists practice self-care? By giving themselves a standing ovation in the mirror.
Why do narcissists love the ocean? It reflects their depth and vastness.
What’s a narcissist’s favorite childhood game? Mirror, mirror on the wall.
Why do narcissists excel at track? They always think they’re ahead of everyone else.
How do narcissists sign off emails? “Sent from the center of the universe.”