Diving into the world of 911 call jokes, we find ourselves walking a tightrope between humor and the seriousness these calls typically represent.
But what if we could lighten the mood? What if amidst the chaos and urgency, there’s room for a chuckle or two?
Think about it: life’s too short not to find the humor in every situation, even in scenarios as unexpected as a call for help.
This collection of the best 911 call jokes does just that, threading the needle with precision to ensure each jest lands softly, tickling your funny bone without crossing the line.
Using simple, everyday language and a mix of sentence structures, we’ll explore how these jokes can bring a momentary escape from the mundane, offering a glimpse into the lighter side of life’s emergencies.
Ready to explore a world where laughter might just be the best medicine, even in the most unlikely circumstances? Let’s dive in, keeping our wits sharp and our spirits ready for a good laugh.
Funny Marvel Jokes
Why doesn’t Thor use the internet? He’s afraid of Loki.
How does Spider-Man make decisions? Web-based logic.
What’s Iron Man’s favorite part of the joke? The punch-line.
Why did Captain America cross the road? To get to the freedom side.
What’s Hulk’s favorite color? Green, obviously!
Why was Star-Lord a bad actor? He kept breaking the fourth wall.
How does Black Widow hide? She spys-der way in.
What’s Thor’s favorite food? Thunderbread.
Why is Ant-Man great at parties? He’s always a little buzzed.
How does Groot make friends? By branching out.
Why did Dr. Strange love time travel? He enjoyed the seconds.
What’s Falcon’s favorite game? Bird watching.
Why was Vision so wise? He could see through everything.
What does Loki use to style his hair? Lies and gel.
Why can’t you trust Iron Man? He always has something up his sleeve.
How does Captain Marvel recharge? By taking power naps.
Why did Thanos go to therapy? He couldn’t snap out of it.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite type of rice? Uncle Ben’s.
How does Black Panther communicate? Purr-fectly.
Why doesn’t Thor play music? He can’t find the key to Asgard.
What did Hulk say to his therapist? “I’ve got anger issues.”
Why is Winter Soldier so good at email? He’s got attachment issues.
How do Avengers assemble furniture? With an Allen (Stark) key.
Why did Deadpool join social media? For the follow-backs.
What’s Hawkeye’s favorite band? The Arrowsmith.
Why can’t you email a photo to Peter Parker? He’s always out of web space.
How do you know if Ant-Man has been in your house? Your sugar’s gone.
Why did Drax wear camouflage? So his emotions couldn’t be seen.
What’s the Hulk’s favorite drink? Green tea.
Why does Thor love lightning? It’s shocking how much he does.
How does Captain America see himself? Through the eyes of freedom.
What did the superhero put in his drink? Just ice.
Why did the Vision never lie? Transparency is key.
What’s Scarlet Witch’s favorite subject? Spell-ing.
Why did Star-Lord get in trouble at school? He kept playing Hooked on a Feeling.
How does Iron Man talk to weapons? He uses firearms.
Why did Loki join a band? He wanted to be the God of Rock.
What’s Thanos’ favorite app? Snapchat.
Why did Spider-Man join the choir? His voice could reach new heights.
How does Thor refer to a bad hair day? A Norse code emergency.
Marvel Dad Jokes
Why did Captain America use a shield? To avoid spoiler alerts.
How does Spider-Man keep his identity secret? With web of lies.
What’s Iron Man’s favorite day of the week? Flyday.
Why was Thor late? He couldn’t find his hammer pants.
What does Hulk say at pottery class? “Hulk, mold!”
How does Ant-Man communicate? On a small scale.
Why did Doctor Strange love the bakery? He kneaded the dough.
What’s Black Widow’s favorite dance? The spy-der.
Why did Star-Lord get a smartphone? To update his Galaxy.
How does Groot make his decisions? He wood think about it.
Why doesn’t Thor do laundry? He fears shrinking his cape.
What’s Hawkeye’s favorite hobby? Archery – he never misses a shot at it.
How does Black Panther stay fit? By clawlimbing trees.
Why did Captain Marvel go to school? To improve her power point presentations.
What did Iron Man say to his suit? “Iron you glad we’re a team?”
Why is Spider-Man so good at baseball? He knows when to hit the web.
How does the Winter Soldier keep warm? With a Bucky.
Why did Doctor Strange never lose his car in parking lots? He always had a spot in another dimension.
What does Falcon do when he’s sad? He wings it.
Why was Ant-Man never hungry? He always found something little to eat.
How does Loki choose his outfits? With trick and style.
Why don’t you play hide and seek with Thor? He always strikes first.
What’s Thanos’ favorite part of a joke? The snapline.
How does Hulk choose his outfits? Anything that stretches.
Why did Vision go to school? To improve his vision.
What’s Deadpool’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
Why did Nick Fury call a meeting? To eye-spy on his team.
How does Iron Man stop villains? He presses “pause” on his remote.
Why did Spider-Man fail his driving test? He got caught in traffic web.
How does Thor refer to a perfect storm? As “Thor-ific” weather.
Dark Marvel Jokes
Why did Thanos go to art class? To improve his snapping technique.
How does Venom like his steak? Well bonded.
What’s Ghost Rider’s favorite game? Burning Man.
Why did Dr. Strange avoid the library? Too many strange books.
How does the Winter Soldier break the ice? “Bucky” doesn’t.
What’s Deadpool’s favorite type of comedy? Anything that breaks the fourth wall… and maybe a bone.
Why don’t you play hide and seek with Wolverine? He always finds you in the end.
How does Daredevil read a mood? With a lot of blind intuition.
What’s Magneto’s favorite amusement park ride? The magnetic bumper cars.
Why is Loki bad at chess? He always loses his Loki-pieces.
What’s Black Widow’s favorite kind of party? A web of lies.
How does Punisher invite people over? He doesn’t. Ever.
Why did Doctor Doom go to therapy? To conquer his inner demons.
How does Thor call for a cab? He hails it with lightning.
Why did the Hulk stop using elevators? He was always smashing the weight limit.
What’s Iron Man’s least favorite game? Rust.
Why was Captain America so good at dodging? He always shields himself from the truth.
How does Spider-Man keep secrets? He keeps them under wraps.
What’s Doctor Strange’s favorite kind of surgery? Strange-ectomy.
Why did Star-Lord get kicked out of the library? His music was too loud for the space.
How does Ultron make friends? He connects to the network.
What’s Falcon’s biggest fear? Bird strikes.
Why don’t you lend books to Vision? He looks right through them.
What does Mystique say when she shops? “I could really see myself in this.”
How does Scarlet Witch solve problems? She hexes them away.
What’s Cable’s favorite time of day? The future.
Why is Gambit so hard to date? He always plays his cards too close.
How does Black Panther stay hydrated? By drinking from the Panther fountain.
What’s Ghost Rider’s favorite day? Fright-day.
Why doesn’t Thor use a phone? He prefers a direct thunder line.
Knock Knock Marvel Jokes
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to meet Iron Man?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stan. Stan who? Stan back, I’m about to do some superhero stuff.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hulk. Hulk who? Hulk smash if you don’t open this door!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Thor. Thor who? Thor-ry, wrong Asgardian.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wade. Wade who? Wade in the water, Deadpool’s swimming!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Fury, and I need to talk about the Avengers initiative.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peter. Peter who? Peter Parker, but you can call me Spider-Man.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Rogers, but you might know me as Captain America.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vision. Vision who? Vision impaired, please say your name.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doctor. Doctor who? Doctor Strange, and no, not that Doctor.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rocket. Rocket who? Rocket, and I’m looking for my raccoon.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Groot. Groot who? I am Groot.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ant. Ant who? Ant-Man, and I might be small, but I pack a punch.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Loki. Loki who? Loki, I just escaped from Asgard again.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tony. Tony who? Tony Stark, have you heard of me?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Natasha. Natasha who? Natasha Romanoff, but you can call me Black Widow.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bucky. Bucky who? Bucky Barnes, but Winter Soldier on duty.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Carol. Carol who? Carol Danvers, but Captain Marvel’s my alias.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? T’Challa. T’Challa who? T’Challa, but as Black Panther, I protect Wakanda.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Quill. Quill who? Quill, but Star-Lord sounds cooler.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Scott. Scott who? Scott Lang, but you might know me better in my Ant-Man suit.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Strange. Strange who? Strange that you don’t recognize the Sorcerer Supreme.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gamora. Gamora who? Gamora time with me, and I’ll show you the galaxy.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fury. Fury who? Fury-ous if you don’t let me in, it’s urgent!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clint. Clint who? Clint Barton, but Hawkeye’s aiming for a laugh.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda know what Scarlet Witch can do?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pietro. Pietro who? Pietro, but you can’t catch Quicksilver!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Thanos. Thanos who? Thanos-tly, I’m just here for the Infinity Stones.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Odin. Odin who? Odin you know it’s bedtime in Asgard?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Magneto. Magneto who? Magneto might not stick around, so let me
Worst Marvel Jokes
Why did Iron Man sleep in his suit? He wanted to rest ironed.
How does Thor refer to a bad haircut? As a hair Thor-ible.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite part of the joke? The punch-spider-line.
Why did Captain America make a terrible comedian? His jokes were too shielded.
How does Hulk ask for a beer? “Hulk hops!”
Why was Thanos a terrible musician? He always snapped the strings.
What’s Hawkeye’s least favorite game? “Missed” the mark.
How do you know if Ant-Man’s in your soup? It’s a little buggy.
Why was Doctor Strange always late? Time was never on his side.
What’s Black Widow’s favorite kind of music? Webstep.
Why did Groot join a band? He was all about that bass, no treble.
How does Loki pick up lines? “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
Why did Star-Lord get in trouble in school? He was always spacing out.
What’s Deadpool’s favorite snack? Chimichangas with a side of sarcasm.
Why did Vision never use elevators? He always phased through the steps.
How does Falcon check the weather? He wings it.
Why don’t you play cards with the Hulk? He always throws the deck.
What’s Iron Man without his suit? Stark naked.
Why did the Winter Soldier go to the fridge? To defrost.
How does Thor choose an airline? He flies Asgardian Airways.
What’s Captain Marvel’s favorite shop? The Star-mall.
Why did the Avengers break up the band? They couldn’t find the key of C-aptain.
How does Nick Fury text? With one eye open.
Why did Drax never understand sarcasm? It always went over his head.
How does Quicksilver clean his clothes? In a flash.
Why was Ant-Man never trusted? He always seemed a little sketchy.
How does Scarlet Witch turn on the TV? With a flick and a hex.
Why did Gamora start gardening? She wanted to find her roots.
What’s Spider-Man’s favorite holiday? Fly-day.
Why was Thanos always calm? He had infinite patience.
