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Japanese Jokes
Why don’t secrets work in Japan? Because Tokyo.
What do you call a fish with a tie? So-fish-ticated.
Why was the math book sad in Japan? Too many problems.
How does a Japanese cat say goodbye? Nyanara!
What’s a ninja’s favorite type of shoes? Sneak-ers.
Why don’t sushi chefs make good boxers? They always wrap their hands.
What does a Japanese ghost eat? Boooooo-sushi.
How do you find a party in Tokyo? Follow the neon lights.
Why was the tofu arrested? For being too soft in the middle.
What’s a samurai’s favorite fruit? Bana-ninja.
How do Tokyo birds say hello? Konnichiwaaa.
What makes a joke a dad joke in Japan? When it’s a papa-razzi.
Why do sumo wrestlers make great web developers? They know how to sumo-nize content.
What’s a computer’s favorite food? Micro-chips and sashimi.
Why was the calendar nervous? It had too many dates.
How do you apologize to a sushi roll? You roll with it.
What’s a Japanese dog’s favorite snack? Bark-u.
Why are Japanese ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them.
What’s a ninja’s favorite game? Hide and Shuriken.
Why don’t trees in Japan get lost? They always find their roots.
What do you call an early bird in Tokyo? Worm sushi.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So they’re not mistaken for feminists.
How do you cheer up a sad sushi roll? Give it a hug and say, “Wasabi?”
What’s the best way to carve wood in Japan? With a Samurai saw.
Why did the sushi break up with the rice? It needed more space.
How do you organize a space party? You planet with stars.
What’s a Japanese magician’s favorite spell? Abra-kadabra-katsu.
Why are Japanese mountains so wise? They peak at everything.
How does a Japanese dog say sorry? Bow-wow.
What’s a sumo wrestler’s favorite drink? Heavy tea.
Why don’t Japanese cats play poker? Too many cheetahs.
What’s a Tokyo traffic jam like? Car-mageddon.
How do you know if a sushi chef likes you? He gives you extra wasabi.
What’s a Japanese farmer’s favorite music? Crop-rock.
Why do samurais make poor thieves? They always make a big entrance.
How do Japanese schools prevent tardiness? With alarm clocks.
What’s a Tokyo owl’s favorite subject? Hoo-istory.
Why are Japanese puzzles so popular? They click with people.
What’s a sushi chef’s life motto? Roll with the punches.
How do Japanese stars greet each other? Shining and bowing.
Funny Japanese Jokes
Why did the sushi say to the soy sauce? “You complete me.”
Chat style: “Guess what?” “What?” “I tried to catch some fog. I mist.”
Why do sumo wrestlers use fabric softeners? For softer collisions.
What did one tempura say to the other? “You batter believe it!”
Why are Tokyo trains the best listeners? They always stay on track.
Why did the ramen stop arguing? It didn’t want to noodle fight.
What’s a karaoke bar’s favorite saying? “Mic it happen!”
How do you organize a fantastic space party in Japan? You planet with stars and moons.
Why did the matcha tea go to therapy? It had too many green issues.
Chat style: “What’s a monster’s favorite place in Japan?” “I don’t know, where?” “Nara. Because of the deer!”
Why did the tofu refuse to fight? It didn’t want to cause a stir-fry.
What do you call a forgetful sushi? “Lost in roll.”
Why did the chopsticks break up? They couldn’t stick together.
What’s a Japanese computer’s favorite snack? Microchips with a side of bytes.
Why did the wasabi scream? It got spread too thin.
How do you impress a sushi chef? Roll with the punches.
Chat style: “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Sushi.” “Sushi who?” “Sushi you wouldn’t believe it!”
Why don’t Japanese cats play video games? Too many paws.
What did the ginger say to the sushi? “I’m rooting for you!”
Why are Japanese ghosts the best comedians? They always crack up the spirits.
Why did the manga go to school? To get drawn into history.
What do you call an adventurous sushi? “Rolling stone.”
Why did the samurai buy an electric car? For silent but deadly rides.
Chat style: “Why avoid playing cards in the jungle?” “Why?” “Too many cheetahs!”
Why did the tempura break up with the rice? It found someone batter.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus? You Pokémon.
What’s a sumo wrestler’s favorite part of a joke? The heavyweight punchline.
Why did the edamame fail the exam? It was too pod to study.
What’s a Tokyo traffic light’s favorite game? Red light, green light.
Why did the koi fish start a band? To make a splash in the music scene.
Japanese Dad Jokes
Why did the sushi chef refuse to share his secrets? He had too many rolls to keep.
Chat: “What does sushi say in the morning?” “Rice to meet you!”
How do sumo wrestlers call their kids to dinner? “It’s chanko time!”
Why did the wasabi laugh? It heard a spicy joke.
What’s a samurai’s favorite TV show? “Game of Thrones,” but with real swords.
Chat: “Why don’t we play hide and seek with Mt. Fuji?” “Because it’s always peeking!”
Why did the tempura go to school? To be a little batter.
How does a Japanese dog say hello? Konnichiwag.
What did the lantern say to the light? “You brighten my day!”
Why don’t Tokyo birds ever get lost? They always find their way back to the nest.
What’s a ninja’s favorite type of music? Stealth rock.
Chat: “What do you call a tired bird in Tokyo?” “A yawny hawk!”
Why was the tofu acting tough? It wanted to be a soy soldier.
What does a Japanese ghost do when it gets lost? It wails until it’s spirited away.
Why did the ramen stop boiling? It was done noodling around.
Chat: “Why are Japanese rivers smart?” “Because they have long banks of knowledge!”
Why did the sushi break up with the ginger? It needed more space.
What’s a Tokyo traffic light’s favorite saying? Stop, look, and listen, in that order.
Why are Japanese cats great at video games? They have nine lives to practice.
How do you know if a sushi is fresh? It’s still rolling.
What’s a sumo wrestler’s favorite dessert? A big bowl of ice cream with extra toppings.
Chat: “What do you call an adventurous fish?” “A koi explorer!”
Why did the origami crane lift weights? To become a strong flyer.
How do Japanese stars avoid paparazzi? They twinkle in disguise.
Why did the calendar visit Japan? It wanted to date a day in Tokyo.
Chat: “Why can’t bicycles stand up by themselves in Japan?” “They’re two-tired!”
What’s a Japanese magician’s favorite trick? Pulling a rabbit out of his Hatsumi.
Why did the computer go to Japan? It wanted to find its roots in Silicon Valley.
How do sumo wrestlers text? With heavyweight emojis.
Why do Japanese trees never get lost? They always leaf their mark.
Japanese Food Jokes
How do you know if sushi is good at math? It always has the right roll.
Chat style: “What did the soy sauce say to the wasabi?” “You’re too hot to handle!”
Why did the udon stop moving? It got noodle-locked.
What do you call an artistic fish? A koi-doodle.
Why are tempura chefs great at basketball? They always make the best dunks.
Chat: “Why don’t we tell secrets to sushi?” “Because it might roll away!”
What’s a tofu’s favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
Why did the sushi break up with the rice? It needed more space.
How do you make a roll laugh? Tickle its belly with ginger.
Chat: “What’s a rice ball’s favorite game?” “Catch me if you grain!”
Why don’t sushi chefs get into arguments? They always roll with it.
What’s a bento’s favorite song? “Box of Life.”
Why was the wasabi so good at running? It always spiced up the race.
Chat: “Why did the miso soup break up with the spoon?” “It wanted to be ladle-free.”
Why do tempura prawns never get lost? They always shrimp up at the right place.
How do you know a sushi is rich? When it’s rolling in dough.
What’s a fish’s favorite instrument? The tuna-fish.
Chat: “What’s a Japanese pepper’s favorite saying?” “Spice is the variety of life!”
Why did the green tea go to therapy? It had too many baggages.
Why are sushi rolls so educated? They’re well-rounded.
What do you call a food fight in a Japanese restaurant? Sashimi showdown.
Why did the ginger get an award? For being outstanding in its field.
Chat: “What’s a noodle’s life motto?” “Take life one strand at a time.”
Why did the sushi chef refuse to share his recipe? It was on a roll.
What’s a mochi’s favorite type of music? Rock and roll.
Why are onigiri so good at sports? They always play ball.
Chat: “Why did the edamame refuse to grow up?” “It wanted to be a soybean forever.”
Why did the octopus beat the squid in a fight? It was well-armed.
What’s a tempura chef’s favorite day? Fry-day.
Why did the ramen go to school? To get a little broth-er.
Japanese Jokes One Liners
A sushi roll walks into a bar, the bartender says, “We don’t serve food here.”
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So they’re not mistaken for feminists.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Why don’t we play cards with the Yakuza? Too many sharks.
My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
Why did the tofu refuse to fight? It didn’t want to cause a stir.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every play has a cast.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
I told my computer I needed a break, and it went to sleep.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
Why do bicycles fall over? Because they’re two-tired.
I told my suitcase there will be no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
Why was the math book sad? Too many problems.
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well-armed.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue. Can’t put it down.
I’d tell you a Fibonacci joke, but it’s probably as bad as the last two you’ve heard combined.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
I have a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
I’m Delaney Jameson, the soul behind inspiremymantra.com! As a healing expert, writer, and self-growth enthusiast, I’ve made it my mission to share my passion for affirmations and personal transformation with the world.
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