Forget the store-bought socks, ditch the predictable ties. This Father’s Day, gift your dad something truly priceless: genuine belly laughs.
Yeah, yeah, you’ve heard it a million times: fathers love jokes. But when’s the last time you cracked one so good, it left him snorting milk through his nose, tears streaming down his cheeks?
Don’t worry, dad jokes don’t have to be groan-worthy (unless that’s his thing). This year, let’s arm you with puns so sharp, they’ll cut through even the densest dad fog.
Funny Fathers Day Jokes
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me!
Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
What do you call a dad who falls through the ice? A popsicle!
How do dads like their steak? Well-dad.
Why did the dad sit on the clock? To be on time.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta, just like dad’s jokes!
Why don’t dads trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
What’s a dad’s favorite boat? The family ship.
Why was the dad bad at baseball? He kept running home.
How does a dad joke start? By looking over your shoulder.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese, says every dad.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
How do you organize a dad’s space party? You planet.
What’s dad’s favorite exercise? Running… late.
Why do dads take an extra pair of socks golfing? In case they get a hole in one!
What do you call a dad with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field, just like dad.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn’t know it was on fire!
What’s a dad’s favorite type of shoes? Loafers, for loafing around.
How do dads follow Will Smith in the snow? They follow the fresh prints.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of the computer? The space bar, says tech-savvy dad.
Why did the dad cross the road? To say “Hi” from the other side.
What do dads call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
How does a dad make coffee disappear? He drinks it.
What do you call a dad who tells dad jokes but isn’t a dad? A faux pa.
Why did the dad bring string to the bar? To tie one on.
Why was the dad’s belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
What’s a dad’s favorite country? Dadmark.
How does a dad keep his bagel from getting away? Put lox on it.
Why don’t dads trust atoms? They make up everything.
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut, dad style.
Why did the dad study in the airplane? He wanted a higher education.
What do you call a dad who’s a grill master? The Grillfather.
How does a dad fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
What’s a dad’s favorite rock group? “The Rolling Stones,” because they gather no moss.
Why did the dad bring a spoon to the Super Bowl? To stir up some fun.
What did the dad say to his daughter’s boyfriend? “I was once a man of your age, young man!”
Why don’t dads ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Fathers Day Jokes One Liners
Dads are like boomerangs… I hope.
I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, “You.”
My dad’s favorite joke? Me.
“I’ll call you later!” – “Please don’t, call me Dad.”
Dad always said, “Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything!”
To the man who invented zero, thanks for nothing, Dad!
Dad, I’m hungry!” “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad!”
Dad’s favorite car? A “Ford-get about it.”
Dad, did you get a haircut? “No, I got them all cut!”
Why did Dad join the music band? Because he had the key!
Dad’s cooking motto: If at first, you don’t succeed, order pizza.
Dad’s favorite wrestler? Dwayne “The Rock” Dadson.
Dads are like mushrooms, because they’re a fungi.
Dad’s weather forecast: “Room temperature.”
Dad’s bank is a snow bank. It’s where he keeps his cold hard cash.
My dad’s a magician… at disappearing when it’s time to do dishes.
Dad’s biggest fear? Automatic soap dispensers.
Dad’s best advice? “Don’t look at the sun” – in hindsight, it was good.
Dad’s favorite state? Denial.
Dad’s motto in life: “If you can’t fix it with duct tape, it’s not worth fixing.”
Dad’s bedtime stories always have a cliffhanger… literally, a hanger on a cliff.
Dad’s favorite fruit? A boreapple.
Dad’s favorite animal at the zoo? Himself.
“Dad, can I watch the TV?” “Yes, but don’t turn it on.”
Dad’s favorite day? Fry-day, because of the fries.
Dad’s favorite superhero? Himself, after a cup of coffee.
Dad’s diet plan: Seafood. He sees food and eats it.
Dad’s favorite exercise? Shaking his head in disbelief.
Dad’s philosophy: “Life’s a garden, dig it.”
Dad’s favorite pastime: Not moving a muscle during a nap.
Knock Knock Fathers Day Jokes
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, Dad, it’s cold outside!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, Dad, it’s just a joke!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you, Dad!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe help me with my homework, Dad?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honey bee. Honey bee who? Honey bee a dear and fetch me my slippers, Dad.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you, Dad!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No silly, cow says moooo!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you waiting for, Dad? Let’s go!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and answer the door, Dad!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrup- MOOOOOO!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I prefer peanuts!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the peep hole and find out.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome, Dad!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke, Dad.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Figs your doorbell, it’s broken.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut forget to hug me, Dad!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owl. Owl who? Owl always love you, Dad.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ya. Ya who? Wow, you’re really excited to see me, Dad!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. Leaf who? Leaf me alone with the remote today, Dad.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Aldo. Aldo who? Aldo anything for you, Dad!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to be my hero, Dad?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita lot of love from you, Dad.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana wish you Happy Father’s Day!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? I am. I am who? I am lucky to have you, Dad.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? Annie chance you could make pancakes today, Dad?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honeydew. Honeydew who? Honeydew you know how much I love you?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Duane. Duane who? Duane the bathtub, I’m drowning in your dad jokes!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iran. Iran who? Iran all the way here to wish you a Happy Father’s Day!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to open the door?
Fathers Day Jokes For Church
Why did Noah always do well in math? Because he was good at ark-ithmetic!
How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? Floodlights!
Why was Goliath so surprised? Because David was stoner than he thought.
What do you call a pastor who’s also a dad? A father in more ways than one!
How do dads in the Bible start their cars? They turn to Psalm 23: “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures.”
Why didn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”
How do you know if someone in the Bible is a dad? He’s got dad sandals!
Why did Samson try comedy? He brought the house down.
How did Noah check his email? He went onto the Ark-ive.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic!
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out!
What time of day was Adam created? A little before Eve.
What’s a dad’s favorite hymn? “Stand By Me” — especially at the grill.
How do you know Jesus was a true father? He was carpenter, fisher of men, and a shepherd.
Why did the pastor bring a ladder to church? He wanted to reach the high notes!
What do you call a dad who can do a hundred sit-ups? An abdominal father!
Why did the computer go to church? It had a hard drive and needed to reboot its spirit.
Why did Joseph never get tired? Because he slept in the Pharaoh’s court.
What’s the best way to read the Bible? You Luke into it.
Why do fathers always carry a spare pair of socks? In case they get a “holy” one!
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
Why was Daniel a great babysitter? He was lion-hearted.
What’s a dad’s favorite Bible verse? “Blessed are the peacemakers.”
Why don’t dads in the Bible hide secrets? Because God sees everything!
How do you get a dad to stop singing in church? You don’t. You let him make a joyful noise!
What’s a dad’s favorite part about church? Fellowship, because it’s just like being in a dad group.
Why did the dad sit in the pew? Because he couldn’t find the dad chair!
How do dads in the Bible start their morning? With manna for breakfast!
Fathers Day Jokes For Cards
Dad, you’re like a fine wine. You get better with age and more expensive!
If at first, you don’t succeed, call Dad.
Dad, you’re my favorite parent. But don’t tell Mom.
You’re not just my Dad. You’re my ATM.
Happy Father’s Day to my favorite taxi driver and ATM machine!
Dad, I love how we don’t need to say out loud that I’m your favorite.
You’re not old, Dad. You’re just… vintage.
Dad, you’re like coffee: strong, warm, and kept me awake at night as a baby.
Happy Father’s Day from your greatest achievement.
Dad, thanks for the good looks. I’ll thank Mom for my intelligence.
Dad, you’re not snoring… you’re purring.
Without me, today is just another day. You’re welcome.
Dad, I’m the reason you celebrate Father’s Day. You’re welcome.
Thanks for saying “yes” when Mom said “no.”
Dad, you’re like a stovetop: occasionally hot and usually cooking up something.
You’re not bald, Dad. That’s just a solar panel for a genius.
Dad, I turned out perfectly because of you. Mostly.
To the world, you are a dad. To our family, you are the world.
Dad, you’ve always been like a father to me.
You’re the Mufasa to my Simba, Dad.
Thanks for always being my anchor, Dad.
Dad, I’m your favorite child. The others told me to tell you.
You’re my superhero, Dad. Because who else could wear socks with sandals?
You’re the best dad I’ve ever had.
Dad, thanks for teaching me to fish. Even if we never caught anything.
You’re not just my dad – you’re my unpaid therapist.
Happy Father’s Day! From your financial burden.
Dad, thanks for being my Google.
If Dad can’t fix it, no one can.
Happy Father’s Day to the coolest dad who always lets me turn up the thermostat.
I’m Delaney Jameson, the soul behind inspiremymantra.com! As a healing expert, writer, and self-growth enthusiast, I’ve made it my mission to share my passion for affirmations and personal transformation with the world.
Through life’s ups and downs, I’ve discovered the power of healing and self-discovery. With every challenge, I’ve grown stronger, wiser, and more connected to my authentic self. This journey led me to create inspiremymantra.com, a space where I can share the lessons, love, and light that have transformed my life.
Join me as we explore the magic of affirmations, embrace self-improvement, and create the lives we’ve always dreamed of – one mantra at a time. Let’s grow together and unleash our full potential!