Feeling fizzle instead of fireworks this Fourth of July?
Hold onto your hot dogs, folks, because these jokes are about to spark a laugh riot bigger than a sparkler in a gasoline factory!
We’ve got puns so bad they’re practically treasonous, one-liners that’ll leave you clutching your sides, and enough star-spangled punchlines to make Uncle Sam do a double spit-take. 🇺🇸
So ditch the BBQ blues and get ready to ignite your funny bone with these firecracker jokes. You’ll be the life of the cookout, guaranteed to have everyone shouting, “Yankee Doodle LAUGH-dle!”
Click in, crack up, and celebrate America’s birthday with the gift of giggles!
Funny 4th Of July Jokes
Why did the American flag go to school? To show its true colors!
What’s red, white, blue, and green? A patriotic frog.
How does the Statue of Liberty stand out at parties? She’s a torch-bearer!
What dance was very popular in 1776? Indepen-dance!
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington? Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
What’s Uncle Sam’s favorite snack? Fire-crackers.
Why did the duck say “bang”? Because he was a firequacker.
How do you make a Revolutionary War soldier laugh? Tickler his colonies!
What was George Washington’s favorite tree? The infan-tree!
What did one American flag say to the other? Nothing, it just waved!
Why did the British cross the Atlantic? To get to the other tide!
What do you call an American drawing? A Yankee doodle!
Why were the early American settlers like ants? Because they lived in colonies.
What’s the most popular tea in America? Liber-tea!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing for the Fourth of July!
How can you tell if a firework is American? It’s star-spangled!
What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert? Monticello pudding.
Why was the math book sad on July 4th? Because it had too many problems.
What did the patriotic dog say? “Yankee Poodle Dandy!”
Why don’t you want to play cards with the Declaration of Independence? Because it’s good at declaring war.
What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington? One has a bill on his face, the other has his face on a bill.
What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for? Liber-tea!
Why was the Liberty Bell the best musician? It had a great ring to it!
What’s red, white, black, and blue? Uncle Sam at a 4th of July BBQ!
How is a healthy diet like the Declaration of Independence? They both cut out a lot of unhealthy fat (King George III).
What’s a ghost’s favorite day of the year? BOO-ly 4th!
Why did the patriot put on his glasses? To read the fine print in the Declaration of Independence!
What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog? Yankee Poodle!
Why did the eagle play the lute on July 4th? To strum-spangled banner!
What did King George think of the American colonists? He thought they were revolting!
Why did the American flag visit the doctor? It had stars and stripes.
What’s the most ignorant animal in the jungle on July 4th? The Indepen-don’t!
How does a cucumber become a pickle on the Fourth of July? It goes through a jarring experience!
Why was the computer cold on the 4th of July? It left its Windows open.
What did the little firecracker say to its parents? “I’m a blast!”
Why do fish not like computers? They’re scared of the net.
What do you call an American revolutionary who draws? A Yankee doodler!
Why did the pie go to a dentist? Because it needed a filling on the Fourth!
What’s the best drink for the Fourth of July? Indepen-dance water.
Why was the patriotic cat afraid of the computer? It had a mouse!
Dumb 4th Of July Jokes
How do you throw a space party on July 4th? You planet.
What’s the least spoken language in the United States? Sign language.
Did you hear about the firework that went to school? It was a bright spark.
Why did the cat sit on the computer on July 4th? To keep an eye on the mouse.
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert on Independence Day? I scream.
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married on July 4th? The reception was fantastic!
How do you organize a party in space for Independence Day? You planet.
What does a book do in the summer? Checks out the beach.
Why did the sun not go to college? It already had a million degrees.
Did you hear about the duck that was a patriot? He was fond of the bill of rights.
What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
How do you invite a dinosaur to a July 4th barbecue? Tea-Rex!
Did you hear about the firework who went to school? He was a real bright spark!
Why did the tomato turn red on the Fourth of July? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument on Independence Day? A trom-bone.
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie.
Why was the math book sad on July 4th? It had too many problems.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.
How do you organize an outer space party on July 4th? You planet.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
What’s a firefly’s favorite game on July 4th? Flash tag.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
Why did the scarecrow win an award on July 4th? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
Best 4th Of July Jokes For Kids
What’s a firework’s favorite song? “Boom Boom Pow.”
Why did the American flag go to school? To prove it wasn’t a flagging student!
What do you call a dinosaur on July 4th? A Fireworkasaurus!
Why was the computer cold at the barbecue? It left its Windows open.
What do you get when you cross a patriot with a potato? A potato that’s proud to be American!
Why did the duck say “bang”? Because it was a fire-quacker!
What’s the best drink on the Fourth of July? Liber-tea!
Why don’t you store fireworks in your fridge? They might go off with a bang!
What’s red, white, blue, and green? A patriotic turtle!
Why did the eagle sit on the flag? It was America’s favorite perch!
How did the lemonade become patriotic? It was in the punch!
What’s Uncle Sam’s favorite snack? Liberty Bell-peppers!
Why did the chicken cross the road on the Fourth of July? To get to the other BBQ!
What did one flag say to the other flag? Nothing, it just waved!
Why was the math book looking forward to July 4th? It wanted to celebrate “in-dependence” day!
What’s the best tea to drink on Independence Day? Liber-tea!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing up for July 4th!
What did the firework say to its friends? “Time to sparkle!”
Why do seagulls fly over the sea on July 4th? If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
What was the Liberty Bell’s favorite music? Independence rock!
Why was the cucumber cool at the barbecue? It was a “pickled” patriot!
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving. But July 4th is a close second!
Why did the American flag go to the doctor? It had stripe throat!
What dance do hamburgers do on July 4th? The burger boogie!
What’s a cat’s favorite color on Independence Day? Purrr-triotic blue!
Why do Americans like to eat beans on the Fourth of July? Because they’re in-de-pinto!
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert on July 4th? Boo-berry pie!
Why did the firework go to school? To get a little brighter!
What’s a cow’s favorite holiday? Moo Year’s Day, but July 4th is udderly fun too!
Why was the baseball team good at fireworks? They knew how to hit it out of the park!
Short 4th Of July Jokes
Why was the math book patriotic? It had a lot of problems to solve.
What’s Uncle Sam’s favorite snack? Yankee doodle-dandy donuts.
Why don’t sharks eat politicians? Professional courtesy.
What’s a firework’s favorite music? Pop!
How do you start a July 4th parade? Roll the drums!
Why was the belt arrested on July 4th? For holding up a pair of pants.
What’s a cat’s favorite holiday? Mewly the Fourth!
What do you call a duck on Independence Day? A fire-quacker!
Why did the lettuce blush? It saw the salad dressing for July 4th.
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert on July 4th? Booberry pie!
How does the ocean say hello? It waves!
Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings!
What do you call a dinosaur that’s loud on July 4th? A blast-o-saurus!
Why don’t people play hide and seek with Uncle Sam? Because he never declares he’s it!
What’s red, white, blue, and green? A patriotic watermelon.
Why did the pepper join the army? It was a hot shot.
What’s a bee’s favorite day? Bee-pendence Day!
What do you call an American revolutionary who’s good at math? A radical!
Why did the bald eagle sit on the flag? It was America’s favorite perch!
What do you call an American cat on July 4th? A Yankee Doodle Kitty!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crumbly on July 4th.
What’s the best game to play on Independence Day? Flag tag!
Why did the flag go to school? To improve its pole position.
What’s a frog’s favorite holiday? Leap Year, but July 4th is ribbiting!
Why was the tomato embarrassed? It saw the salad dressing for the BBQ.
What’s a cow’s favorite holiday? Moo-ly the Fourth!
Why don’t people like July 4th jokes? They’re too revolutionary.
What do you call a fake noodle on July 4th? An impasta!
Why did the eagle wear a wig? It wanted to be a bald eagle.
What’s a computer’s favorite holiday? Inde-pendrive Day!
